


A Dragon With Broken Wings

by min_yah



Category: BIGBANG - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, M/M, OT5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 07:24:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17039348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/min_yah/pseuds/min_yah
Summary: Kwon Ji-yong, more famously known as GDragon, has it all- millions of fans, fame, money, a loving family and a band consisting of his non-blood brothers. But he's in hell. He was the leader and had to protect his bandmates and make sure they stay in the spotlight where they belonged. But how long can he protect them from the monster who tears him down. Who tore his wings.





	1. A Leaders Duty

Jiyong sighed as he flopped down on the large sofa, bigbang had just returned to korea after completing their made tour, he was exhausted physically and mentally and just wanted to rest but he knew that wouldnt be happening. He lifted his shirt up and over his head throwing it onto the ground, his hand fell onto his belly and he traced the blue and yellow pattern of a boot on his stomach then he winced as his fingers grazed over the open cut on his hip.

He got up and sighed once again as he trudged to his bathroom and started to apply disinfectant to his wound and stick a gauze to it he couldn't afford another infected wound. He glanced up and saw himself in the mirror, he never sees past the large bags pulling down his eyes or the blue purple and yellow scattered all across his body, past the littered scars which noone ever saw. He sees someone broken, someone abused yet he tells himself that its ok as long as he protects his band and fans from the monster they so lovingly call 'manager-hyung' he survives for them, he dies for them. Jiyong pulls his gaze away from the mirror and looked at the clock and shit he was late again.

He hurriedly threw on a outfit (though still made himself look damn fine) and applied layers upon layers of makeup to mask his ugliness, to give his dead like appearance some shine, to make his 'im fine thankyous' believed... oh god if only everyone knew.

He didnt bother to eat and hopped into his drivers car and was taken to the studio to continue on his latest compositional piece. He arrived and as always there was a mob of fans outside waiting for him, he grunted and pulled down his hat. Dont get him wrong he loved his fans immensly it was just keeping up appearances and smiling when all he wanted to do was cry and sleep was exhausting. He put on his trademark smirk and hopped out of the car and acknowledged his fans as much as he could while being dragged into the building, once he entered his smile disapeared and he slouched slightly. He walked to his recording studio and breathed deeply he knew manager was in there and he was too goddamn late, maybe his blue flowers will have some new friends and like usual he was right.

Jiyong pulled open the door slowly and stared right at his managers face which was red from anger "my dear jiyong youre late again" he said in a bittersweet voice as he threatenly walked towards him. Jiyong pressed himself to the wall and prayed that it wont be aa bad as last time his manager smiled teasingly "awww is the tough gdragon scared?" Just then he punched jiyong in the stomach making him scream and bend over in pain and sink to the floor. His manager grabbed his hair and yanked it so jiyong was looking at him "you worthless piece of shit, first you're late and now i feel you haven't lost any weight you fat failure, maybe i should make Seungri my new playtoy hes prettier than you... or maybe that Seunghyun you seem to adore too much" jiyong screamed as he kicked him "NO!!! dont hurt them you promised!!!!" Manager laughed as he continued to kick the poor boy "aish i did didnt i" he pulled jiyong back up to his feet by his hair and pushed him into the door making the doornob bruise jiyongs spine. "Loose some weight and finish this goddamn song" manger threatened before pushing jiyong to the floor and leaving the room.

Jiyong held back his tears he refused to cry because of the beast he got up and limped unstably to his chair and sat down. He wiped of the blood that ran out of his mouth and fixed his makeup before opening up the computer and continuing on his work from yesterday.


	2. Of Work and Pain and a Special Friend

An hour into his composing jiyongs tummy demanded food, but like usual he ignored it.                                                                         
two hours into his composing and his nose started to throb and slightly bleed again, he kept working.                                                        
Three hours and he started to get dizzy, he shook his head and sighed once agin he looked like shit, he sounds like shit, he feels like shit and because of that his work was below shit.

He heard someone coming down the hallway and freaked out what if it was someone other than manager. He stood up and instanly regretted it his whole world started to spin and black dots obscured his vision. He grabbed his head and faintly heard the door opening but was too disoriantated to  acknowledge it and he felt his legs give way and he let himself fall and waited to hit the hard ground but that never came.

Instead he found himself land in strong arms which instantly cradled him. Jiyong tried to open his eyes to see who it was but the light hurt them, so instead he listened to the faint desperate cries of his name. Finally he regained enough composure to open his eyes and look up. His gaze was met by seunghyuns big eyes which were on the verge of letting out tears. Jiyong giggled at his display of worry and didnt flinch when he started yelling at him "goddammit jiyong!!!!! You scared the crap out of me you little shit!!!! Whats wrong with you we should take you to the hospital!!!! What if i wasnt here to catch you and you split your head open goddamit!!!" Jiyong sat up slowly much to seunghyuns disapproval and waved him off "yah! Im ok i dont need to go to the hospital i just got up to fast" jiyong patted seunghyuns head who growled at him "not youre not ok noone just faints because of a f-ing dizzy spelll and plus your nose is bleeding!!!" Jiyong cursed and wiped his nose thankful that seunghyun hadnt noticed any other suspicious injuries.

Jiyongs face softened he understood his worry "im ok hyung i just didnt sleep well last night and i think i overworked myself a bit today" seunghyun stood up and helped jiyong to stand up and grabbed his shoulders "you mister are going home to rest for the rest of the day and your goddamn work can wait!!!". Jiyong couldnt say no to seunghyun and allowed himself to be pushed out of the studio ~damn im gonna pay for this tommorow~ he cringed but then again it wasnt anything new.

Once seunghyun had practically carried jiyong to his car and strapped him in jiyong slumped in the seat and groaned because his damn back was killing him there was probably a massive bruise on his spine. Seunghyun got into the car and started to drive. After a while jiyong noticed that he had past jiyongs street "ahhh you missed the turn bingu" seunghyun gave him a 'duhh' sidelook "i know idiot we're going to mine so i can look after you im not leaving you alone till i know youre better" jiyong sighed and huffed a simple reply making seunghyun nod his head in approval.

Once they parked seunghyuns car jiyong was lifted out by seunghyun "YAH!!! im not a baby put me down!!!" He punched seunghyuns chest and wriggled around then gasped in pain when his movements dug seunghyuns hand into his back. "Are you ok did i hurt you??!!!" Seunghyun fretted and put jiyong down who waved it of az nothing not like he would tell him whats actually wrong no thatll get seunghyun involved and hurt. He trailed behind his hyung and politely nodded to the doorman and leaned against the wall of the posh highly decorated elevator and waited as it rose to the penthouse. Soon as it dinged open seunghyun grabbed jiyongs hand amd pulled him inside and to one of the many guest bedrooms. Jiyong studied each new piece of artwork and quirky furniture that seunghyun had collected since last time he was here then finally was thrown onto the bed by seunghyun who smiled and pulled the blanket over him after removing jiyongs shoes and socks. "Now you get some sleep and rest i want you feeling better.... wait have you eaten yet?" He suddenly asked making jiyong tense up 'you fat failure' his manager chanted in his mind so he lied and nodded his head no he cant eat food not when he's fat he needs to be perfect then he'll be happy, then he'll escape this hell.

~seunghyuns pov~

Seunghyun turned on the kettle and leaned on the table staring at his newest painting while thinking about jiyong, truth be told he was constantly worried about him, jiyong always seemed tired and beaten nowadays he no longer smiles, well not real smiles. Seunghyun was tired of the fake jiyong with masks, he missed the old one who joked around and stole his things and was such a painful little shit to be around but still thats what made seunghyun love him cause no matter what he was the happy virus in seunghyuns life. He always made sure that every member of bigbang was perfected, not in a stereotypical commercial sense but in a sense of perfection that was true to each member showed their true talents and dofferences, what made them unique.

But lately Jiyong flinches at anyones touch, he shys away from speaking, he never smiles truthfully, he never hangs out with the members anymore and he definately never laughs. He had brought it up in a group meeting without Jiyong obviously and many theories were brought up, maybe Jiyong was going to go solo and leave them behind? But no he wouldnt do that he put to much effort and love into the group. Maybe he was hidding a secret? That was likely but seunghyun thinks that jiyong would have told him by now since its been a while since jiyong started acting this way. They told eachother everything, when fame was too much they would comfort eachother as they cried, they shared every joy and jiyong even listened to seunghyuns long long long rants about his artwork, they were unseperable, but now seunghyun is worried, worried that jiyong thought he could no longer rely on him.

Seunghyun completely forgot about the kettle and walked back to jiyongs room and saw him fast asleep in the bed, he smiled jiyong was always the cutest when he slept, he looked young again without any worries or concerns causing wrinkles to form on his perfect face. He walked out and closed the door gently. Just then his phone started to ring "hello.... oh hello manager hyung!!!... ahh hes at my house why?.... why? Oh well he fainted earlier today and i brought him here to get some rest i think i should take him to the hospital.... neh ill tell him that when he wakes up... no i dont think he can come today... theres no ruch we just finished our made tour hyung let him rest... neh...neh... bye bye" seunghyun hung up the phone and rubbed his face "aish he can be demanding sometimes" he said to his favourite painting before walking to his own bedroom, ~i wonder why manager sounded so frantic when i mentioned taking jiyong to the hospital... maybe hes scared of a news report... no thats silly~ seunghyun rubbed his face again everything was so confusing.

~jiyongs pov~

he gasped as he woke up the feeling of silk like magic under his fingers, yet the sweat layering his skin made the balnkets stick to him. He sat upright and pushed his sweaty hair out of his eyes, yet another nightmare had plaqued his mind, they never left him alone constanly clawing at his weak mind. He looked around the room slightly disoriantated until he relised that he was at seunghyuns house. He lifted his hands above his head to stretch but suddenly cried out in pain his lower back was killing him. His lower back was too hot, a constant stabbing pain made painful electric shocks travel all the way up his spine.

The door burst in and seunghyun ran over to jiyong (in his comical pink bunny rabbit pajamas) and instantly started worrying over him "are you ok?! Whats wrong?!" Jiyong shook his head "its nothing.... just a nightmare" seunghyun hugged jiyong making him flinch slightly in pain. "You should have a shower youre all sweaty" jiyong nodded and limped to the bathroom his back throbbing at every step he took he closed the bathroom door and exhaled deeply "dont use the pink towel thats mine!!!" He heard seunghyun yell and smiled hes such a lovable dork.

Jiyong stumbled over to the mirror and pulled of his shirt he counted the new bruises on his stomach and a total of 8 new ones added to the colourful painting. He sighed and turned around finally looking at his back, he instantly regretted it just the sight made him flinch which made the pain come back tenfold. His whole lower back was covered in a deep purple bruise with a yellow rim and each bump of his spine was painted blue no wonder it hurt to bend or move or do anything. Jiyong pulled of his shorts and boxers and turned the shower onto the hottest temperature and stepped in scolding his skin, the new pain made his back throb less and his skin go an angry red at the abuse. Jiyong looked at his belly and started to scrub of the dried blood from some of his cuts that had reopened from the hot water. Jiyongs voice cracked as he sang quietly to himself and suddenly he started crying, he couldnt stop, he felt defeated and weak, he felt dead inside. All his work his dreams his determination it had all lead to this, to this hell. He slowly slid to the ground and sat on the floor crying and scratching at one of his cuts wishing for the pain to just go, to disapear.


	3. A Wall of Ice

~jiyongs pov~

Jiyong finally pulled himself of the floor, blood swirled around the drain and his legs and torso from the wounds he had reopened harshly. He sighed and cleaned of all the blood before turning of the shower, he stepped out and winced everything hurt and he was dizzy from the blood loss but he didnt care. Jiyong searched the bathroom for a first aid kit he knew seunghyun kept here and found it. He pulled out the gauze and covered each wound to stop the bleeding. once he dried of his body he put on his clothes and grabbed the other towel and dried his hair leaving the towel ontop of his head as he finally left the bathroom still limping.

he walked to the living room to find seunghyun splayed across the designer couch and reading a book. Jiyong studied the long legs and the torso he knew had abs even though they were always hidden and just the perfectness that was Choi Seunghyun he continued to pretty much check out the man infront of him before seunghyun looked up and noticed jiyong "took you long enou- WAIT YOU USED MY TOWEL!!!" seunghyun jumped up and snatched his precious towel from jiyongs head and hugged it "mine" he mummbled defensively making jiyongs mouth slightly turn upwards. "Thankyou for looking after me hyung but i should go now  have work to do" seunghyun stepped closer to jiyong and studied the man in front of him "nope" jiyong tilted his head "no what?!" Seunghyun shook his head "you still look like shit, youre not going anywhere". Jiyong growled suddenly angry for no reason "YAH!!! Im a grown man i decide when i bloody want to work or not!!! I know i look like shit but i always look like shit have you seen this face so let me go already goddammit" seunghyun took a step back surprised by jiyongs outburst. He shook his head in disbelief "how could you say that jiyong you have the most handsomest and beautiful face i have ever seen!! I just want to make sure youre ok... iv been worried about you" jiyongs face fell and looked at the ground, seunghyun shouldnt worry about a burden like Jiyong he should worry about their younger members, about his beloved art and wine not someone broken.

Seunghyun placed his hand on jiyongs shoulder and broke the silence "come to the kitchen lets have something to eat" jiyong shook his head "im not hungry" seunghyun frowned "you havent eaten dinner or breakfast and you wanna go work comeon you dont have a choice" jiyong refused to be pulled into the kitchen and walkef over to the door and grabbed his coat. "Im leaving and you cant stop me... ill eat on the way" seunghyuns fists curled up at his sides and he strided threatingly over to jiyong stopping an inch before his face making jiyong flich. "We both know thats a lie.. look at how skinny you are its not ok!! Youre right i cant stop you but why cant you accept my care, my love, i will always protect you" jiyong tried hard to not burst out into tears and turned it into a scarl, he hated it but he had to show seunghyun that he wasnt worth caring over or loving he was trash.

A wall of ice was built around his heart one so thick it would take many years to melt. He grabbed seunghyuns shirt collar and pulled him down face to face with him. "Dont fucking lie to my face im fat everyone knows it. The only thing im good for is producing music so let me do it!!! Stop caring for me cause i hate you!!!!" Jiyong pushed as hard as he could sending seunghyun flying back and hitting the wall hard. Jiyong started to hyperventilate what had he done. He had hurt the man he was trying to protect was he becoming as bad as the monster who broke him. Jiyong backed away before fleeing out of the door he couldmt stand looking into seunghyuns large eyes which showed nothing other than pure hurt. He ran down into the elevator and sat down, tears poured out of his eyes and his hands shook his heart felt heavy and cold and oh god he hurt so much what had he done!!!

~seunghyuns pov~

Seunghyun stared at the closed door what just happened? He groaned as he stood up his back and butt throbing from the unexpected collision. He limped to the couch and layed down to lessen the pain radiating. Why did jiyong do that to him, why did jiyong say all ofthose things about himself what happened to the old jiyong that would prance around the house in only boxers and gush about how perfect he was. What happened to the jiyong that would never run and always cared for others wellbeing. Seunghyun sighed and stopped himself from crying, something was seriously wrong with his best friend, the man he has known for over ten years, the man hes loved for six. 

Seunghyun contemplated chasing after jiyong but decided against it causing any more conflict at this time could ruin them forever and plus his back hurt. He ended up getting up and walking over to his wine rack and picking the strongest mix and downing more than half the bottle as he leant against the wall and worried about his precious dragon. When he was undeniably drunk he wobbled to his room and crashed on his bed deciding that alcohol and sleep was his best option for now before tommorow when he was going to find out how to fix jiyong. He sighed and fell into a restless sleep. 'I hate you' plaquing his mind all night.

~jiyongs pov~

He no longer diserved to live after what had he done. Jiyong sat in the corner of the studio and pulled at his hair, tears poured down his face and his shirt was thrown across the room. He couldnt do it anymore he wanted to die living was too painful. But he couldnt die cause the media will surely be the end of bigbang and he cant have that, he knew they could do it without him his talents were average compared to theirs to him they were no less than gods, but then who would protect them. He sobbed aloud and tried to stop his hands from shaking but they wouldnt. He heard the door knob turn and started to freak out noone was allowed to see him like this but then remembered that he locked the door sighing in relief.

Suddenly the door swung open and slammed against the wall making jiyong flich so hard that his head hit the wall behind him. The manager stormed up to jiyong " how dare you fucking lock the door you piece of shit!!!! Think that will protect you!!!" He grabbed jiyongs hair and slammed his head against the wall "say youre sorry you ungrateful shit" jiyong yelled an apology in pain as manager kicked him in the stomach making jiyong bow down. Manager then trapped jiyongs hand under his foot and stepped down hard making jiyong scream in pain he felt his bones cracking and pleaded for the manager to stop "you want me to stop?" He smirked and took his foot of jiyongs hand only to put it on his head and push that into the ground "know youre place you worthless child. Did you have fun yesterday? Did you let seunghyun take advantage of you you slut i bet you would like that. Maybe i should try that sometime, finish producing the song you slut or maybe i might do just that" he threatened and ground jiyongs face into the ground a little more before walking away and leaving jiyong çurled up on the ground in a pool of blood,sweat and tears. No he thought life definately wasnt worth living. He must protect his band no matter the cost to him he didnt care anymore inside he was truly lifeless. 


	4. What's Wrong

Jiyong picked the dried blood off his hands and curled more into himself as he leaned against the wall, blood stained the ground he sat on and his whole body hurt. He stared at the computer sitting on the studio, it was taunting him, something he once did as a hobby, something he was always thinking of has become his only escape from this hell yet was the reason he couldn't escape. He hiccuped and dug his nail into his hand, he didn't want to break down for the nth time today he was emotionally and physically exhausted. He had to suck it up and get to composing, he had to finish the songs before manager hyung got too impatient. Jiyong groaned as he hauled himself up and leaned against the wall for support as he unsteadily walked out of the suffocating room into the hallway. He stuck to the wall all the way to the bathroom grateful that no one was here at the stupid hours of 4 in the morning, Jiyong rubbed his face and sighed he got no sleep staying on the floor unable to move most the night then curling into himself having breakdowns the rest of the night.

He stared into the mirror and grimaced at himself he looked like death. His face was covered in dried blood from his nose and mouth which he smudged and wet tear tracks left red lines all down his cheeks and blue bruises were appearing on his cheek and forehead. Yet another tear fell from his eyes which were the worst of all, they were red and had no shine left they looked almost coal black instead of the Korean brown. Jiyong scowled and scooped his hand into the water in the sink he filled and smeared water all over the mirror blurring out the view of himself. He cleaned the blood from his hands and face and threw of his shirt which was also stained with red. He filled the sink again and plunged his whole face into the water wetting his hair he stayed under till instincts told him to breathe again and reluctantly lifted his head up. He looked into the dried mirror again and sighed now he looked like a drowned beaten rat, he kneeled slowly and rummaged through the cupboards for the makeup bag he always left at the company for touch ups and pulled up the bag and rummaging through for his supplies. He caked on the foundation and concealer to conceal the bruises and his bags. He then used eye drops to whiten his eyes again and then finally put in contacts to obscure the dull coal colour of his eyes. Once he was satisfied he fluffed up his wet hair and picked up his shirt and slowly limped out of the bathroom back to the studio. 

He shoved his shirt into his backpack and pulled out his hoodie pulling it on and pushing up the hoodie to cover his face. He sat down and continued to compose his song ignoring the throbbing of his head and the pain radiating from his body and the painful churning of his deprived stomach. A few hours later Jiyong was almost done he was finally becoming satisfied with the beats coming out of the speakers, he sighed and sunk into his chair now to add lyrics which meant actually having to work with other people, people with bright futures and no worries apart from their competition. Beautiful people with more talent and an actual future unlike him. Jiyong no longer cared about fame, he has it, he has money, he has friends and fans, but it all has lead him to misery. He is undeserving of the fans loving chants that almost make him burst into tears every time.

Jiyong coughed into his hand mindlessly wiping away the blood that splattered onto his hand. He heard a knock on the door and lazily muttered for the person to come in. He didn't look up until he felt a softly placed hand on his shoulder, he looked up and saw the smiling and caring face of Seungri. Jiyong smiled fondly and nodded his hello "hello hyung.. are you composing? Are you busy? Do you wanna go somewhere with me and Daesung?" Seungri excitedly tugged at Jiyong's arm. Jiyong contemplated it, it would be nice to hang out with his bandmates and plus he really needed caffeine "mmm that'll be nice, lets go get coffee?" Seungri nodded and frowned a bit "hyung... your voice is really rough you're not sick right?" Jiyong stood up and ruffled the worried maknaes hair "no I'm ok just sleepy thats why we need coffee lets go panda" Seungri jumped up and down and grabbed jiyongs hand pulling him out of the room.

Daesung waved excitedly from the car when he saw Jiyong and Seungri walking hand and hand out of the building into the private carpark "ITS BEEN SO LONG MY LOVABLE LEADER" Daesung flung himself at Jiyong in his overly dramatic way and hugged Jiyong. Making him flinch and cough from pain but everyone passed it of as surprise. Jiyong was once again forced into a car and driven off to a mystery location by the excitedly chattering idiots in the front seat. Jiyong let out a rare quiet laugh and closed his eyes as he leaned against the comfy, soft leather of the car seat falling asleep to the happy sounds surrounding him.

~Seunghyuns pov~

The first time Seunghyun woke up was because of insistant pressing of his doorbell. He swore he was going to murder whoever it was. He plodded over to the door and opened it to Seungri and Daesungs overly cheerful faces. "What do you want?" He grumbled and Seungri smiled "are you doing anything today wanna hang out?" Seunghyun groaned he felt like shit and he had to see Jiyong today "I'm busy sorry" Daesung and Seungri pouted and seunghyun felt a pang to his chest he loved them and would love to spend time with them but he hurt too much, he was still in pain physically and emotionally from last night and groaned as he touched his back. Seungri noticed the discomfort "hyung? Is your back ok?" Seunghyun nodded and fluffed up their hair "be good boys and play safely" daesung and seungri beamed and nodded happily. Seunghyun said goodbye and went back to bed as seungri and daesung left ti go find Jiyong.

The second time he woke up he groaned and prodded his head as he sat up in bed and regretted the alcohol from the night before. Then he remembered his mission for today and forced himself out of bed. He looked at the clock "9 already shit Jiyong must be at the studio now" he grumbled and plodded to the bathroom to take a shower. He looked in the mirror and washed his face still thinking about Jiyong. He stripped and stepped into the shower turning on the warm water and sighing happily as it ran down his skin. He went to make the water a bit hotter when he noticed something, he leaned closer to the hot water knob and curiously looked at the stains on the usually silver shiny surface. He scratched at it and studied the fragments that fell onto his hand. Seunghyun gasped as he realised what is was, it was dried blood. He looked at his hands then his body, it definitely wasn't his blood, then that must mean it was jiyongs.

Seunghyun got worried and started to fuss over Jiyong in his mind is he injured? Is that why he was so out of it yesterday? Was it serious? Why was jiyong hiding it? Does he need help? Seunghyun shook his head he definitely needed to talk with Jiyong. He finished his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. As he brushed his teeth he looked over to the cupboard getting an idea. He walked over to the cupboard and pulled out his first aid kit and checked to see what was missing, he pulled out the pack of gauzes and noticed bloody fingerprints on the package and quite a few missing since Seunghyun has never used one he knew it was Jiyong. Why would he need that many? It had to be something serious... what wasn't Jiyong telling him?. Seunghyun started to get increasingly worried and shoved the first aid kit back into the cupboard and went back into his bedroom. He bent down to grab his jumper that he had hazardously chucked on the ground last night and almost screamed out in pain his back was killing him, how hard did Jiyong throw him. Once he was dressed Seunghyun grabbed his car keys and raced down to the elevator and drove as fast as he could without breaking laws to the company building he had to make sure Jiyong was ok. Seunghyun wouldn't know what he would do if he lost Jiyong, he was so worried and scared that a tear ran down his face.

once Seunghyun made it to the building he raced in and went straight to the studio bursting into the room expecting a surprised Jiyong to be staring agape at him but instead Seunghyun was met with an empty chair. He sighed it was 10 why wasn't Jiyong here he would always be here by now. He plodded over to the chair and collapsed into it and caught his breath, he clicked the mouse and the screens turned on revealing Jiyongs latest song, so he was here.. but where is he now?. Seunghyun slouched in the chair and slowly spun hisself around studying the room and waiting for Jiyong to come back. His eyes landed on Jiyongs backpack which was thrown into the corner of the room and curiosity overtook Seunghyun. He usually respected peoples privacy but Jiyong was a special case, he strides over to the bag and squatted down next to it and opened it pulling out Jiyongs water bottle which was still full. Seunghyun pulled out all Jiyongs things a phone cable, his notebook, his tablet, bigbangs first cd seunghyun smiled jiyong was definitely too sentimental. Seunghyun sighed he didn't know what he expected but everything seemed so ordinary. A piece of fabric caught Seunghyuns eyes and he studied the offset white colour and realised that it was the shirt he was wearing last night. Seunghyun pulled out the shirt and unraveled it then gasped and dropped the shirt. It was covered in splatters of blood it looked gruesome with shaky hand marks which looked like they were wiping blood off to clean their hands. Something was definitely wrong no one just has a shirt covered in blood and is fine. Seunghyun held the shirt to his cheek his poor Jiyong what is going on please be ok.

~jiyongs pov~

Jiyong woke up to a pair of hands poking him "Hyuuuunnngggg wake up!!!!" Seungri and daesung tucked at jiyong and eventually got him out of the car "goddamn you really need coffee dont you" jiyong growled his reply and pulled a face mask on and glasses he really didn't want to be recognised today. Seungri and daesung did the same and they walked into a quiet quirky little cafe and ordered coffees and muffins well daesung and seungri ordered muffins while jiyong only wanted a big ass coffee. They sat down in a booth and waited their coffee. Seungri playfully tapped the table with his fingers happy to be spending time with his two bandmates. "So jiyong hows life doing we've all been so busy!!" Jiyong nodded and looked at seungris happy little face and daesungs attentive one, his bandmates always seemed to make him feel important, included and loved no matter how crap jiyong was feeling. "Ahh I've just been composing lately... iv finished the song so ill need your guys vocals soon" daesung and seungri nodded excitedly they loved singing jiyongs songs they were always so perfect and well suited to their different styles and voices. "Have you seen seunghyun lately?" Daesung suddenly asked making Jiyong perk up attentively "no why?" He lied and daesung and seungri looked at each other then back to Jiyong "we saw him this morning he looked horrible like he was run over by a truck, i mean he had massive bags under his eyes and he was obviously hungover and he seemed to be in pain i think something wrong with his back" Jiyong grimaced and sunk into his chair the guilt weighing him down why did he do that to Seunghyun who was being nice and loving 'why cant you accept my love' Jiyong scratched his wrist, because I'm not worth your love seunghyun.

Jiyong snapped out of his thoughts when the waitress placed their coffees in front of them and smiled before leaving. Jiyong studied her perfect body and pretty kind face, once upon a time he would have tried to hit her up, she was his ideal type but now he only had eyes for one and love and pleasure was something Jiyong stopped striving for long ago. He sipped his coffee as he listened to daesung and seungri ramble on and on about their trips overseas and the people they met and also about their excitement for bigbangs comeback. jiyong smiled they were like innocent children. He remembered the reason for the pain he lives with its all to protect his bands innocence, Jiyong will raise them well make them better than they are now and then slowly he can disappear from the spotlight, from the band and they will strive as 4 while he protects them from behind the curtain where no one will see his bruises, his cuts, his lifeless eyes and his pain.

once they finished their coffees they left the cafe making sure to leave a generous tip for the waitress and filed back into the car taking of their masks and glasses. Jiyong stared out the window and sure enough fell asleep again. The next time he woke up he was in the arms of daesung who was holding him bride style "ahhh so the princess is awake" he giggled "you're surprisingly light hyung we should fill you with masses of food maybe i should make you dinner" jiyong hit daesungs chest "yah!! Im always light now but me down you beast this princess can walk just fine and I'm going out for dinner with a friend so you cant make me dinner" he grimaced at his lies and felt exhausted from the act he had to constantly pull.  Seungri smiled and slung his arm around jiyongs shoulders "make me dinner!!! Im a panda I'm always hungry" he whined to daesung who rolled his eyes and laughed "are you sure you don't want to go home and sleep or something hyung?" Seungri asked Jiyong who shook his head "i have work to do and plus i slept plenty in the car i have tons of energy now" seungri nodded and hugged jiyong followed by daesung before they finally got into the car and drove away with a honk.

Jiyong sighed and his act fell immediately as he dragged his feet to the elevator and started his journey back to his personal hell in the studio. He walked in and closed the door walking to his chair. He froze when he heard the door click as it locked and started to shake with fear "I'm sorry" he heard manager walk up and place a strong hand on his shoulder making him flinch and cower into himself. "Why are you sorry?" A deep voice replied and Jiyong froze again that wasn't managers voice it was Seunghyuns.

He turned around and faced the handsome man who looked tired and a mess making Jiyong feel instantly guilty again. Seunghyun started to push jiyong towards the wall and pinned his hands to the wall above his head "you have some explaining to do" jiyong cowered again and whimpered "I'm so sorry for hurting you i didn't mean to it wont happen again i just.... i was just stressed thats all" seunghyun leaned in close making Jiyongs heart beat faster "stressed about what?" Jiyong couldn't focus Seunghyun was too close "i... i... about... about work... i was ssstressed about wo..work" seunghyun snorted "its always work with you... look i know something is off you're in pain tell me whats wrong let me help you when did we become so distant from each other" jiyong shuddered and a tear ran down his cheek he wanted to tell Seunghyun  everything but he couldn't, he couldn't put seunghyun in danger... oh god why did seunghyun have to care so much... why was he so close Jiyong could feel Seunghyuns hot breath on his lips and his hands were loosing circulation from Seunghyuns tight grip.

Seunghyun growled "are you going to make me force it out of you?!" Jiyong quivered he remembered the exact words coming from managers mouth. "P...please I'm n..not lying" seunghyun shook his head and looked the vulnerable man up and down "you don't look good... please come home with me again let me look after you" jiyong shook his head "i don't need help... ill probably just end up hurting you again.... I'm ok i promise I'm not hiding anything" seunghyun cursed under his breath and let go of jiyongs hands and pulled his hands back before slamming them on the wall either side of jiyongs head out of frustration "goddammit Jiyong why wont you let me help you!!!!??? You're clearly not ok!! Just liste.." Seunghyuns stopped when he saw Jiyongs shaking and his hands covering his face "p..please don't hu..hurt me I'm sorry i..i wont do it again please i..I'm sorry I'm sorry!!" Jiyong slid down to the ground and curled into a ball with tears running down his face. Seunghyun looked at him in confusion... what the hell just happened?


	5. For 7 Years

seunghyun leaned against the wall of his apartment clutching his cheek and trying to prevent himself from bursting into tears. His hands shook and his body ached but worst of all his heart was broken he thought Jiyong loved him. He believed that he would always have jiyong by his side. Why? Why did Jiyong have to leave him? Why can't he come back... "GODDAMMIT!!" Seunghyun pushed himself of the wall and propelled his fist into the wall opposite him leaving a crack in the once perfectly painted surface. He then slid down the wall and curled in on himself. He was T.O.P, bingu T.O.P he was supposed to be happy, cheerful always silly but he felt nothing other than pain and sorrow. Why wasn't he good enough that Jiyong could accept his care and love.

~a few hours earlier~ 

Seunghyun kneeled down next to the crying man and was unsure what to do, what he did. He placed his hand on jiyongs shoulder and pulled him into a hug smushing Jiyongs face into his chest and protectively hugging him. "Jiyong-ah... its ok, i forgive you... look at me" seunghyun lifted Jiyongs chin and studied his face. "How is it that after you cry so much you're still unbelievably beautiful" seunghyun smiled lovingly. Jiyong frowned and tilted his head so his hair obscured his eyes. He mumbled something and seunghyun tangled his fingers in Jiyongs soft hair. Jiyong looked up again "don't say that... we both know its not true... we both know I'm no where near beautiful..." seunghyun shook his head how could he get the stubborn man to listen to him. "Jiyong-ah beauty is something other people see in you... your fans see your beauty through your performance and personality, your band sees it through your kindness and leadership... and i see it in every single bit of you... everything about you is utter perfection". Jiyong scoffed and looked down if only seunghyun knew than he would run away... Seunghyun only deserved perfection and he was anything but. 

Seunghyuns hand found its way to Jiyongs cheek and his thumb brushed against it softly. "Why do you pretend to care so much?" Jiyong suddenly asked catching Seunghyun of guard. "Pretend? How could you say that? I never pretend when it comes to my love for you... Jiyong i love you" Seunghyun confessed catching Jiyong of guard this time and before Jiyong could protest he felt a pair of soft, plump lips press against his, he felt a hand hold the back of his head pulling him further into the kiss. He could feel himself melt and he wrapped his arms around seunghyuns neck pulling him closer, he was finally getting what he wanted for the longest time.

He was pushed slowly backwards by Seunghyun and ended up laying on the floor. Seunghyun kneeled above him holding him down and tasting every inch of Jiyongs mouth. Seunghyuns hand found themselves rubbing across Jiyong torso reveling in the feeling. His fingers undid the first button of jiyongs shirt. Jiyong moaned happily the feeling of Seunghyuns love the best thing hes experienced in oh so long. One of seunghyuns fingers accidentally poked one of Jiyongs bruises making him freeze. What was he doing? Why was he letting himself indulge? He's only going to hurt Seunghyun, bring him down especially if manager found out. Jiyong became frightened and pushed Seunghyun onto the floor next to him and climbed on top of Seunghyuns lap pinning his arms down next to his head much like Seunghyun had done to him on the wall. He leaned down and growled at Seunghyun who had a innocent confused look on his face. 

Jiyongs heart broke but he had to protect the man he loves and the only way was to drive Seunghyun away from him, he was a ticking time bomb and Seunghyun didn't deserve to still be in love with Jiyong when he exploded. Seunghyun wiggled a bit under Jiyong obviously waiting for a kiss "the fuck was that Seunghyun" Jiyong growled and Seunghyuns face instantly went pale from shock. "Don't you think iv made it pretty damn clear of my feelings for you... they are non existant i wasn't lying when i said i hated you" he snarled while he tried to prevent his heart from breaking into a million pieces oh god it hurt so much to see so much pain in Seunghyuns eyes. "Wha.. i.. i thought you loved me too" Seunghyuns eyes were starting to fill with tears making Jiyong feel worse about himself if that was even possible. "No... i don't you're just a fellow bandmate" Jiyong swear he could hear Seunghyuns heart break feel the sadness radiate of Seunghyuns perfect skin. Seunghyun wretched his arms out of Jiyongs grip and pushed him of him. "Why... how could you be so mean... i thought we were forever... it may seem cheesy but iv always loved you... i want to help you let me in i know you're in pain... oh god please let me help you" Seunghyun sobbed out and Jiyongs eyes started to blur it was too much why did he have to hurt his love to protect him.

Jiyongs stumbled back a bit as Seunghyun stepped towards him, when will Seunghyun get the message. Jiyongs vision was going more blurry than is probably healthy and he started getting dizzy the lack of food and large amounts of stress starting to kick in. Seunghyun placed a hand Jiyongs arm "tell me truthfully... are you ok?" Jiyong wanted to shout and yell at Seunghyun tell him to save Jiyong take him out of this hell fix his health to give him well deserved love. But instead he remembered managers harsh words the danger closeness to him will put on other people, and he did the one thing he learnt was an easy way to lose and thus protect friends... inflict pain. Jiyongs fist shot out and collided with Seunghyuns cheek sending him stumbling back in shock and pain. Seunghyuns eyes showed immense amounts of pain and betrayal that Jiyong couldn't bare to look anymore and he turned his back walking out of the door and away from Seunghyun but still not missing the quite mumbled words from Seunghyuns mouth "I loved you for 6 whole years... what happened to you" causing the river of tears to finally fall from Jiyongs eyes as he whispered in reply "i loved you for 7... I'm sorry... we were soulmates until i became tainted... became a threat to you... now look at you bruised and broken hearted because of me and my selfishness... but i promise i will protect you from manager... you'll find someone else a lot better than me" he continued to cry as he walked out of the building and into the streets just walking straight not caring where he ended up, he just needed to be away from everything and everyone just for a bit


	6. Dumpster

~seungri's pov~

Seungri groaned and stretched he snuggled back into the warm bed and rolled over flopping half his body over the sleeping one next to him. Last night Daesung thought he heard strange noises and got to scared to sleep in his own room opting instead to climb into Seungris bed in the middle of the night startling the sleepy panda.seungri had let him stay since daesung had cooked him a massive yummy dinner and plus Seungri liked the presence of his hyung.

Seungri poked daesungs cheek making the man groan in protest "get up sleepy head" seungri singsonged making Daesung frown at him and roll over shutting out Seungri. Seungri pouted and rolled over more until he was sitting ontop of daesungs belly, Seungri wriggled to annoy Daesung "HYUNGGG MAKKEE MEEEE BREEAKKKFASSSTTT" daesung groaned even louder and then finally opened his eyes and blushed "YAH GET OFF ME" Daesung pushed at Seungri who giggled and fought Daesung back soon they were wrestling on the bed wide awake. Daesung froze when the doorbell rang and Seungri smirked and pushed Daesung of him and off the bed. Seungri un-wrinkled his clothing as he ran to the door to let the person in. Seungri pulled the door open and flung himself at the person almost toppling them over. "HYUNG YOURE BACK!!!!" seungri yelled nuzzling his head into Taeyangs chest. Taeyang laughed and squeezed Seungri back before pulling away to let himself in. "Yeh we just got back this morning, i went to go find Jiyong but i couldnt find him so i went to Seunghyuns and Seunghyun wasnt there so i just opted to find them tommorow and come back home. Seungri grabbed Taeyangs hand and pulled him back to his room where Daesung was now asleep in the floor. "YAH!!!!" Seungri yelled as loud as he could scaring the shit out of Daesung who grumbled a hello to Taeyang who smiled back and helped Daesung up.

"how's it been?" Taeyang asked the two men when they were finally dressed and in the mood for conversing. They were all layed out across the couches. Daesung nodded enthusiastically and started to explain the many adventures hes had since the made tour ended. When he finished he frowned "Jiyong is still acting a bit weird and introverted and Seunghyun is definately acting weird... i feel like they're both in pain... but im not sure." Daesung looked down thinking hard and Seungri nodded. "Probably just a lovers spurt" Taeyang joked making Seungri and Daesung lose seriousness and laugh. "Ill see them tommorow and see for myself if theres anything we need to worry about... now you Seungri better not of made any new scandals you rebelious child" Seungri blushed and looked down before laughing "well i cant if you two are living with me" he pouted setting everyone off into another round of laughs.

~Taeyangs pov~

Taeyang swirled the alcohol in the bottom of the glass and stared at the ceiling appreciating the time to rest. The last few months had been intense and they were soon going to go into promotions again and he appreciated every moment of down time. He spent most of it with his girlfriend and smiled at the memories oh how he loved her but it was nice to be with his bandmates. He looked sideways at the two, Seungri was curled up in Daesungs lap watching and directing Daesung on the game he was playing on his phone, Taeyang smiled those two had too much chemistry. He was startled out of his thoughts when his phone started ringing loudly, he looked at the contact and slided the pick up button smiling. "Seunghyun!!!...yeh im back!!... ahh yeh i did try to.... no i havent seen Jiyong i thought he was with you?... what?.... why?r... ok ok im coming now" taeyang hung up the phone confusedly what was that all about?. "Guys im going out for a bit be good" Seungri and Daesung nodded in reply engrossed in the game.

Taeyang pulled on his coat and grabbed his keys hurriedly walking to the elevator he was worried Seunghyun didnt sound good and he needed help. His foot unpatiently tapped on the elevator floor waiting for it to open. When he did he almost ran to his car and started it speeding out of the building once he made it to Seunghyuns building he took deep breaths reassuring himself that everythung was ok. By the time he made it to Seunghyuns door he rang the bell his foot starting to tap again. He heard a crash from inside and jumped his face forming a shocked expression when Seunghyun opened the door. He stepped back a bit and covered his mouth. Seunghyun looked horrible his normally slightly tanned skin was ghostly pale, his cheek was slightly swollen and coloured blue purple and yellow, his eyes were red and the man who hardly ever cries had clear tear streaks down his face, and last of all his knuckles were bruised and cut covered in dried blood. Seunghyun swayed slighlty before collapsing, Taeyang rushed forwards and caught Seunghyun lifting up the broken man and closing the door before carrying seunghyun to his couch. Taeyang winced at the blood and holes in the wall and broken ornaments littering the floor. He looked down at Seunghyun who's eyes were glassed over indicating to Taeyang that he was in a whole different universe. Seunghyun started to mutter incomplete sentences confusing Taeyang. "What happened... why doesnt he love me.... what did i do wrong... why arnt i good enough... why is he hurting that much". Taeyang placed Seunghyun down on the couch and ran off to get the first aid kit and a icepack. He placed the icepack on Seunghyuns forehead and started to dress his wounds careful to not hurt Seunghyun. 

Once he was done he noticed that Seunghyun had fallen into a restless sleep. He sighed and pulled a blanket over the shivering body "what the hell happened to you hyung?" Taeyang grabbed Seunghyuns hand and held it resting his forehead atop the shivering palm. Seungri and Daesung were definately right there was something going on and it most probably had something to do with Jiyong, was Taeyang right in his joke? A lovers despute? But how bad was it to cause such a large scale breakdown. He sighed and pulled out his phone dialing Jiyongs number. The call continued to ring and finally went to voicemail "goddammit Jiyong were are you i need your help... Seunghyun had a breakdown and i would appreciate it if you get your ass here and help me please" he sighed and hung up he may of sounded mean but to be honest right now he was too scared and stressed to care he'll show Jiyong love after he had helped fix the bingu. He rested his forehead on Seunghyuns hand again and fell into a uncomfortable stressed sleep.

~Jiyongs pov~

Jiyong watched as he let his phone ring out and only picked it up when the voicemail came through. He listened to it before throwing his phone back onto the concrete most probably breaking the fragile device "goddammit jiyong why are such a selfish fuck up" he yelled at himself pulling at his hair Seunghyun was hurting so bad because of him and now Taeyang was brought into it all by having the burden of having to look after the man Jiyong broke. They say victims act like their abusers and mow Jiyong believed the unbelievable quote... he was just as bad as that monster he banged his head against the wall behind him in fustration and punched the dumpster bin next to him before curling up on the cold, dirty ground.

He had lost himself in the city of Seoul the city he used to know like the back of his hand. He had found himself in a alley and couldnt care less deciding that he deserved to spend the night here. The smell was putrid and it was starting to rain just Jiyongs lack, manager was probably furious cause he couldnt find his daily punching bag. Jiyong heard footsteps in the alley and decided to not register the sound curling further into himself still pulling at his hair. He saw three dark fiqures in the corner of his eye and looked up to see three large, grotty looking men who smirked down at him. Oh god please dont let them recognise me Jiyong prayed. "Well what do we have here?" One of them smirked another shook his head "new meat on the streets poor thing he looks like a new homeless..." the man kneeled down and pushed hair from Jiyongs eyes "what is a pretty thing like you doing out here? Its dangerous you know dont you have a home?" Jiyong shook his head unsure of the mans intentions "ahh you poor thing you probably dont know how to survive out here do ya?" The two men behind him smirked and the man offered a kind smile "we're all in the same situation here.. let us help you we'll protect you... hey you look kinda familiar now that i think about it" Jiyong flinched and moved backwards the men seemed kind but they couldnt find out who he was.

"He kinda looks like that famous idol... whats his name... the one on the posters.. ahhh yes gdragon" the other two men nodded. Jiyong shrunk into himself oh god please no. "Now that you mention it there is an uncanny amount of resemblance..come here boy" the man grabbed jiyongs face with his large cracked dirty hands and studied it turning it this way and that. "This shall be more fun than i thought... are you gdragon boy?" Jiyong shook his head and the man sighed "well thats good bigbang is shit anyway especially that T.O.P such a hateful character. And that Daesung like why act like a fucking annoying 5 year old and Taeyang sounds like a horse which got sucker punched in the throat.." Jiyong flung himself at the man and punched his face "DONT TALK ABOUT THEM LIKE THAT!!!" the man smirked and Jiyong froze... shit. "So you are g-dragon well well just our luck we have a rich slut tonight boys" Jiyong flung himself back finally clear on the males intentions.

The males walked towards Jiyong "damn if only we had a camera right now wouldnt we make so much money" the others nodded "enough to get off the streets" they smirked and leader male walked threatingly over to where Jiyong had wedged himself inbetween the dumpster and the wall in his attempt to get away. The male pulled Jiyong out and slammed him against the wall pinning his hands. He smirked and leaned in biting Jiyong neck harshly as he tore at the material of Jiyong shirt. Jiyong was about to scream before he relised that if anyone found him like this it could be the end of bigbang the end of everything so instead he put on a mask and went lifeless allowing the men to do what they wanted "well he was easier than expected... be good our little dragon or we will make sure theres bad press made about you then youll get to live with us forever" the other two men moved in and Jiyong let a tear fall down his face just when he thought his life couldnt get any more shit. 

😰😰😰😰😰 


	7. Saviour

~jiyongs pov~

Jiyong head hit the concrete behind him harshly as he attempted to get away from the men who took their precious time applying pressure to the wounds Jiyong already had.   
Jiyong kicked and screamed when they tried to take his pants of so they decided to punish him after finding the many bruises and cuts. "Who knew that the precious gdragon was so beaten up" he laughed cruelly as he dug his fingernails into Jiyongs side drawing blood.   
Jiyong sobbed from the pain. His head started to spin from the force of the collision with the wall, black dots of fatigue blurred out most of his vision and all strength left him. He heard the men snickering as they continued to torture Jiyongs body before starting to unbuckle his pants. 

Suddenly Jiyong heard a smack and the set of hands left his pants. He opened his eyes and tried to get them to focus but they wouldn't. Without the hands holding him up he slid down the wall to the floor unable to handle his own body weight. He heard shouts and smacks and a gunshot? And the sound of heavy bodies hitting the floor then silence... Jiyong flinched as a set of hands grabbed his shoulders softly "Jiyong.. YAH!!! Jiyong are you ok my boy?" The hands slightly shook him and he whimpered in reply. Then hands gripped tighter and the person let out a frustrated sigh "goddammit Jiyong what did you get yourself into" the man pulled Jiyong to his feet and flipped him bridal style. Jiyong snuggled into the warmth the lack of shirt and wetness from the rain chilling him to the bone.

Soon Jiyong was placed into a warm spacious car with leather seats, it all felt familiar to Jiyong but he couldn't place his finger on who his saviour was. As his body finally started to heat up again with the aid of a blanket carefully placed atop him Jiyongs vision begun to clear up and the painful ringing sound in his ears quietened and his vigorous shaking slowed down he finally opened his eyes finally finding the answer to his question.   
He sat up in shock and instantly cowered to the door of the car now everything made sense "m..manager..h..h..hyung?" Jiyong stuttered causing his manager to shake his head "you little shit what the hell were you thinking!!?"   
Jiyong shook his head "but... how d..did you k..know where i.. i was?" Manager placed his hand on Jiyongs knee in a confusing gesture of kindness "i put a tracker on your phone so i could find you if you ever tried to run away". Jiyong sighed and untensed his body, strangely he felt comfortable in his abusers presence. Jiyong would even go as far as to call the monster his saviour. "Why...why d..did you s..save me?" Jiyong asked and manager looked over his stern face frowning at Jiyongs question. "Why wouldn't i you're mine not theirs, and plus i still need you to be healthy enough to function something like that would have broken you too much... don't take this kindness to heart I'm not protecting you... I'm protecting my toy thats all you are Jiyong time to accept that without me you're nothing" Jiyong would have cried would have screamed in protest but he was too exhausted too done with everything to care he was a toy so what... at least he wasn't back in that alley. 

He leaned against the door and pulled the blanket tighter around him and watched the buildings and lights whiz past he thought of nothing, he just stared. He flinched when he felt a hand rest on his arm and pull him to the other side of the car so he was not resting on the door but on his managers chest. His managers arms wrapped themselves around Jiyong, he shuddered from the act of kindness, something so affectionate and kind shouldn't be an act that manager plays. Jiyongs breath became shuddery and sobs escaped, soon tears streamed down his face and soaked managers shirt who hummed calming words and petted Jiyongs hair. Jiyong heard manager laugh and knew that this was all his plan, his plan to make Jiyong dependent on him so he could manipulate Jiyong like his own doll. Jiyong knew that manager had won he could no longer imagine a life without him, he knew that if he escaped one of his band members, his family would be dragged down like Jiyong was and he couldn't have that. His eyes drooped closed from fatigue and he no longer cared that he was curled up against the monster and fell asleep.

~Seunghyuns pov~

Seunghyun groaned as he woke up his whole body hurt especially his head and hands what the hell even happened last night all he remembered was when Jiyong broke his heart the rest was a blur. He tried to lift his hand but it was weighed down by something. Seunghyun looked down and saw a mop of brown hair, he smiled fondly Taeyang was so caring. He lifted up his other hand and saw it wrapped in a bandage Taeyang must of done that, he threaded his fingers into Taeyang's soft hair and played with it watching the stressed man sleep, he felt bad for bringing him into it but also glad as who knows what Seunghyun would of done if Taeyang wasn't here.   
Seunghyun sighed and looked around the room wincing at the mess he made some of his best ornaments were smashed and his walls needed a serious redoing. 

He felt the slumbering man stir and eventually lifted his head up looking straight at Seunghyun when he was fully conscious "hyung!!!! Are you ok omg i was so worried!!! I tried calling Jiyong to come help but he wouldn't answer I'm gonna kill him for that omg i have to redo your wounds let me see them" Taeyang manically grabbed for Seunghyuns hand but Seunghyun wouldn't let him grab it. Instead Seunghyun sat up and pulled Taeyang into a hug "thankyou" he simply said which had a drastic effect on Taeyang. His whole body relaxed and his breathing went back to normal and he snuggled into seunghyun appreciating the strong hug "i was so worried about you" he sobbed out and Seunghyun frowned "im sorry ... but im glad you came"  
taeyang nodded and looked at Seunghyun "but why didn't Jiyong? You two used to be inseparable" Seunghyuns face visibly fell and so did his gaze "he wont come not for a while anyway" taeyang shook his head "i knew this was to do with Jiyong I'm going to kill that bastard for hurting the kindest man ever" taeyang stood up and started to walk towards the door but was stopped by Seunghyuns hands which grabbed onto his arm. 

"Youngbae dont" Taeyang stopped and looked at Seunghyuns broken face "it wasn't his fault he's not ok at the moment" he sighed as Taeyang sat down next to him "whats that supposed to mean?" Seunghyun shook his head and refused to say anymore causing Taeyang to sigh and relax into the couch thinking it all over. "Ok... hey let me make you breakfast how does that sound?" Seunghyun smiled and nodded then laid back down onto the couch still exhausted "yah... do me a favour" Taeyang stopped and looked back at the couch "what is it" he replied curious to what Seunghyun wanted, "don't tell the kids.. not yet" Taeyang nodded it was probably fir the best until Seunghyun and Jiyong opened up. He sighed and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.

~Daesungs pov~

Daesung yawned and stretched plodding to the couch and tapping Seungri's shoulder. "I wonder why hyung didn't come back last night we made a massive meal and everything" Seungri nodded and looked up at Daesung before smirking and wrapping his arm around Daesungs neck "YAH WHAT ARE YOU DOI.." Seungri pulled and sent Daesung flipping over the back of the couch onto the front.   
Daesung grabbed Seungri's top to try and stop himself from continuing to roll of the couch but it didn't work instead they both toppled of the front of the couch landed on the carpeted floor in a giggling mess "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" daesung yelled as he wriggled under Seungri's weight still giggling "cause you were too serious lighten up hyung!" Seungri poked Daesungs cheek and laughed at his pouty face.  
They both burst out into laughter again Daesung suddenly realised how close their faces were and blushed, he felt his heart speed up and started freaking out why was he feeling this way towards the panda. Seungri noticed Daesungs change in emotion and looked down confusedly "hyung your being serious again..." Seungri's breath fanned across Daesungs lips making him blush harder. Daesung pushed at Seungri's chest at an attempt to get the man off of him.

Seungri looked down and smirked he noticed the blush and the slightly glazed over eyes and put two and two together "hyung i don't wanna move im comfy right here" Daesung let out a little whine of defeat which Seungri found adorable sometimes he just couldn't resist with the other male. Seungri brushed Daesungs fringe out of his eyes and appreciated the beautiful orbs. "You're actually so beautiful hyung" Daesungs eyes went wide and his blush spread. Seungri sought that as the best opportunity to lean down and close that gap which had been driving Daesung wild. Seungri's eyes watched Daesungs go impossibly wide before shutting and he felt Daesungs mouth vibrate as he let out a moan which Seungri swallowed as he closed his own eyes and explored the mouth hes wanted to kiss for god knows how long. He felt Daesungs arms wrap around his waist and a sneaky hand travel down to his ass. Seungri grinded down in Daesungs lap and pulled him up into sitting position wiggling his hips and causing Daesung to moan again and start panting with lust. Seungri pulled away observing the mess he made of the man he loved and leaned back in again to continue devouring his mouth.


	8. Answers

-Taeyangs pov-  
Taeyang sighed as he stood in the elevator, he pulled his coat tighter around himself shivering from the cold. After Taeyang made breakfast Seunghyun only ate a small portion, which was clear sign that Seunghyun wasn't ok. He would never not eat his whole plate of food especially if his members made it for him. After Seunghyun had quietly thanked Taeynag then basically kicked him out saying he needed to be alone. Even though Taeyang wanted to do than stay with the depressed man and help his smile reappear, he couldn't disobey the mans stern words and left. At least now he could find Jiyong, for as long as Taeyang has known him he had never hurt anyone this badly, and every time he hurt someone was when he was feeling worse. Taeyang slid his hand through his hair, this wasn't what he was expecting when he arrived back in Korea. He wanted answers so bad but he also didn't want to interfer in matters which didn't involve him primarily. His best friends were hurting and he could theoretically do absolutely nothing.

He drove back home his head abuzz with the events of the two days. He wanted to  find Jiyong and he had a few ideas where his best friend would be, but contemplated if it was the best idea. He shook his head one thing at a time, first he would check up on Daesung and Seungri and appologise for not calling last night. He parked in his car spot and bowed to the doorman on the way in and pressed the button for his apartments floor and waited tugging slightly at his hair, his mind was a mess and he needed something to distract him. A smile etched it's way onto his face thinking of his two younger members and their ability to make anyone smile in any situation. He unlocked the door and walked in stretching and taking of his coat. His whole body froze and his eyes widened, he dropped his now forgotten jacket onto the floor and watched the scene with mild fascination infront of him. Daesung had his legs wrapped around Seungri's waist and Seungri slammed him against the wall, both men were shirtless and devouring eachothers mouth. One of Seungris hands supported them both on the wall and the other roamed all of Daesungs chest and then down to trace his abs. Daesungs fingernails were digging into Seungris back and let out muffled moans every time Seungri grounded against his clothed crotch. Taeyangs mind wondered of again, he knew those two had chemistry but he never thought that they would act on it, let alone him actually seeing it unfold, they were clumsy which suggested that this was new to them. Daesung let out a relatively loud moan as Seungri moved from his mouth to his neck and sucked one spot as his hand reached down and undid Daesungs fly. Taeyang shook his head and decided that it was about time that he made his presence noted and let out a loud cough. Daesungs eyes snapped open and he looked over Seungris head widening when he saw Taeyang. Daesung nudged Seungri to stop who looked up to Daesung confused "what's wrong baby?" he followed Daesungs eyes and saw Taeyang aswell. He squeaked and jumped back from Daesung effectively dropping him "YAH!! THAT HURT PANDA!!" Daesung said slowly getting up and rubbing his bum pouting. Seungri sent a look of apology to Daesung and Taeyng lost it bursting out laughing. He hunched over and grabbed his belly tears coming out of his eyes "you two just made my day" He said in between laughs. 

Seungri crossed his arms and glared at Taeyang "YAH!!", Taeyang looked up and wiped the tears from his eyes "i always knew you two had chemistry.. but wow" Daesung looked down blushing. Seungri went into defensive mode "where were you last night hah!!" he walked up to Taeyang and glared at him. "I was with Seunghyun.. sorry for not calling but now i relise that it was probably a good thing" he laughed and Seungri glared at him even though a blush was starting to stain his cheeks. Taeyang looked at the two them looked down Seungri and noticed at how visibly still 'excited' he was and smirked. His hand shot out and groped Seungri making him gasp loudly from suprise "well i should probably leave you two at it.. im gonna go find Jiyong, call me once you've done don't let me walk into a worse situation" he laughed at Seungris squeak of a response and let him go and pushed him to Daesung and picked up his jacket leaving the apartment once again. "So he's ok with us you know?" Daesung stuttered and Seungri stared at the door in disbelief before smirking "that bastard" he laughed then turned to Daesung his gaze lowering and glazing over again "so where were we?"

-Jiyongs pov-  
He yawned as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. As he woke up he took in his surroundings. Why was everything so familiar? he looked around and relised that he was in his own bed in his house. what? the last thing he remembered was being saved by manager...saved... why was he suddenly being nice? hope bubbled up inside of Jiyong maybe it was just training and now manager thought he passed and will stop hurting him. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and wiggled them, they hurt but weirdly he hurt less than usual, it felt nice, Jiyong felt that he could tackle the world. His hand rose up to scratch his neck and his eyes widened as they landed on tough leather. His fingers investigated the unkknown object on his neck and hooked under pulling the leather, he gasped and shot up out of bed and walked to the bathroom. pulling the towel off of the mirror he gasped. Around his neck was a red collar much like the one he wore for some of his performances, but more heavy duty and ended with not a strap but instead a small padlock. He pulled at the collar frantically but it wouldn't come off. He felt a rough spot on the padlock and used the mirror to look closer at it. Engraved on it's surface was the word 'mine' in english. A tear escaped his eye, he wasn't safe he'll never be safe, manager had claimed him, he was no longer a person. His hands fell down to his sides and he looked at himself in the mirror, who am i? he tilted his head and studied the pitiful face and sighed. He pulled out his makeup bag and much like every day of his life as gdragon he applied makeup to cover up his bruises, his pain, his ugliness. He relised then that makeup was his only saviour the only thing which prevented the others from finding out about his real side.

Once he was satisfied he walked back into his bedroom and noticed a box on his bedside table. He curiously walked over and picked it up, he opened up and saw a new phone sitting in it, that's right he broke his other one last night. A shudder racked his whole body as all the memories came back to him the alley, the men, manager... he shook his head and turned on the phone seeing that manager had already reentered all of his contacts. Jiyong pocketed the phone and grabbed the biggest and most oversized coat he could find and covered his whole body, before walking out of the door grabbing his keys. His phone started ringing and he looked down and saw managers number flashing, he cringed and answered it "yes hyung?... yeh im going now im sorry i know it's late... who?... y-yes ok hyung... i won't... yes i understand" he sighed and hung up his phone sliding it into his pocket again. He jumped into his car and sped out of the garage not really caring about his speed. Today he had to meet up with his sister rapper CL, he loved hanging out with Chaelin but he really didn't want to put on fronts. He sighed for the nth time, at least he was good at it. He parked at the company and sped into the building. He slumped and drousily walked to his studio getting ready to deal with the over-exciteable female. He opened the door and Chaelin jumped out of the chair and skipped over to Jiyong grabbing his hands "oppa!! it's been so long, ive missed you! how are you?" she smiled up at Jiyong and he couldn't help but smile back down at her, he did truly adore her like a big brother would. He allowed himself to be pulled into the studio and he sat down on a chair opposite of Chaelin. "im doing ok... just work, I loved your comeback by the way but you already know that keke" Chaelin nodded and flung her legs ontop of the studio desk and leaned back in her chair and smiled again "yeh!! thankyou oppa" She flicked her grey hair out of her eyes "i have a favour to ask..." Jiyong nodded for her to continue "With Minzy leaving and everything it's been kinda hard but we're all ok and at terms and everyones happy and doing well... but we have to comeback as three, I was wondering that for our next comeback could you maybe collab with us?" She asked, her beautiful eyes pleading with Jiyong and he smiled, "Sure thing Chaelin-ah, i would love to". (A/N i wish this would actually happen gah it would be amazing) Chaelin jumped up and ran over to Jiyong and hugged him tightly giggling "thankyou oppa!!" she suddenly pulled back and frowned "you're awafully skinny" she placed her hands on Jiyongs stomach. "I can feel your ribs even through all of these clothing... now i think of it you're awfully pale too" A worried expression took over her features and she placed a hand to Jiyongs forehead. "oppa?... are you ok? are you taking care of yourself?" Chaelin tilted her head. Jiyong wiggled out of her grip and smiled "im fine" Chaelin frowned "oppa... i know what your forced smile looks like... you should go home and rest, or go to the hospital make sure your health is in check especially before your comeback" "which is only one song Chaelin ill be fine i promise" Chaelin looked to the ground "ok oppa" she pouted and Jiyongs features softened. He walked over and embraced her pulling her into his chest and stroked her hair "Im ok, thankyou for your worry, just contact me when you want to begin preperations for the song neh?" Chaelin looked up and smiled "ok, Ill see you later oppa we should get together sometime, maybe go to a club or something" Jiyong nodded and said goodbye as she walked out of the door not before commenting on Jiyongs newest accessory making Jiyong scowl slightly.

-Taeyangs pov-  
He stepped out of the car and locked the doors. He laughed at memories of Seungris surprised face and walked into the company building, knowing Jiyong the first place to check would be his studio. He walked through the hallways seriousness setting over his features at the task in hand. He looked up and smiled "Chaelin?" she looked up and stopped walking too. A large smile overtook her face and she ran up to Taeyang "oppa its been so long!! how was your trip" Taeyang hugged her "It was amazing we had a really nice time, we just got back yesterday.. im going to see Jiyong is he in his studio?" Chaelin stepped away and nodded happily "He seems a bit... i donno ill i guess so make sure you take care of him" she ordered and Taeyang smiled and nodded "ill call you later ok?" Chaelin nodded "ill be waiting" she said in a jokingly stern voice and headed of the other way. Taeyang smiled and continued to the studio. As he expected he saw Jiyong hunched over the desl madly scribbling on a piece of paper. Taeyang walked over and placed a gentle hand on Jiyongs shoulder making him jump slightly and look up frightened at Taeyang. "geez Ji that was a large reaction" Taeyang smiled as recognition covered Jiyongs face and he smiled slightly "Tae youre back!!" Jiyong stood up slowly and hugged Taeyang. Taeyang smiled at least Jiyong seemed in a better metal state than Seunghyun. "What you doing?" Taeyang grabbed the piece of paper Jiyong was writting on and held it high enough that Jiyong couldn't snatch it back "yah!! they're just drafts nothing much don't read them they suck!" Taeyang ignored Jiyong and went silent as he read the lyrics "wow Ji... these are... these lyrics are heartbreaking... i..." Taeyangs eyes teared up slightly the words were powerful and showed nothing but pain and suffering. "Jiyong why would you write something like this?" Jiyong looked down and twiddled his thumbs "I thought i would try something new in my writing" Taeyang gave the lyrics back to Jiyong and sat down on the studio table and sighed "is this anything to do with Seunghyun?". Jiyongs eyes shot up "I...how?...no...i mean no why would they?" Taeyang shook his head "I think you just answered me right then.. look i saw Seunghyun yesterday, I know there's something happeneing between you two and i also know that it's your fault... Jiyong iv know you for a very very long time... I know you're not ok, even if you don't tell me tell Seunghyun at least, take him out of his misery". Jiyong looked down trying to mask the tears that fell down his cheeks but Taeyang had saw them. He pulled Jiyongs face into his chest and allowed him to cry as his hand stroked Jiyongs hair "Ji I love you, all the members do, I hate seeing you like this please open up about whatever it is that's hurting you, let us help you" Jiyong shook his head against Taeyangs chest and clutched his shirt tighter. Taeyang sighed and leaned down kissing the top of Jiyongs head as comfort "At least comfort Seunghyun then" Jiyong froze and he pulled away from Taeyang slightly and coughed "i...iss seung..seunghyun really that hurt.." Taeyang nodded and Jiyong sobbed out loud "i was meant to protect him and now look at what i've done im nothing but a big fat lying waste of space who hurts everyone around him" Taeyang tightened his grip on Jiyong and pushed his face into his chest successfully shutting him up. "shhh, Ji we both know none of that is truth".

After calming down Jiyong pulled away from Taeyang and whimpered "im so..sorry for soaking your sh..shirt" Taeyang smiled and stroked Jiyongs hair out of his face "it's ok i don't care" Taeyang tilted his head when he saw Jiyong tug the wierd collar accessory around his neck. "Isn't that a little tight? why are you wearing that?" Jiyong looked up frightened and stopped touching it "nah Tae it's fine, i like the look of it im gonna be...be a trendsetter and ah.. start a new fashion trend. Taeyang shook his head still confused "If you insist but i think it's a bit much just to wear casually" Jiyong nodded and looked to the ground. "thankyou for the support Tae and it's great that you're back, but i should get back to work now.. comeback soon" Taeyang nodded there was no arquing with a workaholic like Jiyong. He sighed and brushed of his pants and turned to leave but pausing at the door "Ji? one more thing, why didnt you answer any of my calls?" Jiyong sighed and leaned back against his chair, thankful that he already came up with a lie. "I accidentally broke mine yesterday and i had to go out and buy a new one it was really troublesome but i have the same number and contacts now so i promise to pick up next time" Taeyang nodded and reluctantly left the room. He stopped in the hallway and leant against the wall. Damn everything was beginning to become a bit too much for him to handle. He srcatched his neck and then pulled out his phone punching in a few numbers. "Hyung? you picked up!!... I just saw Jiyong... yes i know you don't want to talk about him right now... but you should really go see him right now he needs you, i know he hurt you but I know you still love him... the only reason he would hurt you is if he was feeling worse... GODDAMMIT HYUNG JUST DO IT he's in his studio, come now" Taeyang hungup and hoped to every god that Seunghyun would actually come and they would sort this whole affair out whatever it was. He then left the building to go see his girlfriend until it was safe to go back home.

-Jiyongs pov-  
His head collided with the desk that was too close. He almost told Taeyang everything, that man just knew how to make Jiyong open up. Jiyong sighed and held back tears he refused to cry again he already looked weak in Taeyangs eyes. His fingers skated across the page of lyrics he wrote, they expressed all his emotions. Why did he write such a sad piece... he sighed and stood up he had to report to manager who would be impatiently waiting in his office. Just as he thought that his phone buzzed with a text from manager, Jiyong read it 'come to my office now... don't make me wait you know what'll happen...' Jiyong sighed at the text and placed his phone on the table he didn't need any distractions when he was with manager. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked to managers office huffing.   
Once he made it to the office he slipped through the opening and closed the door quietly. He bowed to manager who looked up unamused "what took you so long?" Jiyong apologised and walked over to managers desk standing politely. "Do you like your new accessory?" manager smirked and Jiyongs breath sped up and he nodded. "That's good... now who do you belong to?" Jiyong stuttered "yo..you sir" manager nodded and stood up slowly placing the papers he was working on onto the table. "good boy" he walked up to Jiyong who flinched at the decrease of space at them "you still scared of me boy?" he smirked evilly "good" his hand shot out and collided with Jiyongs stomach roughly causing Jiyong to cough harshly. Manager grabbed Jiyongs colar and pulled him and threw him across the floor into the corner of the table eliciting a scream from the poor boy. Manager walked over to the drink stand in the corner of his office and poured himself some brandy before almost waltzing over to Jiyong and kneeling down so he was face to face with Jiyong who was crying and clutching his stomach in pain "You better have said yes to dear CL, Im trying to get on her managers good side" Jiyong nodded and manager smiled "good good" he stood back up and took a gulp of the brady finishing it off. with his free hand he pulled Jiyong up by the colar making him choke and dragged him across the room before slamming him against the wall and raising his hand with the glass. Jiyongs eyes widened as managers hand started to swing towards his head. He screamed and his reflexs took over and his hand stopped the swing of managers arm. Managers eyes widened before slimming into a scowl "how fuckin dare you" he snarled and Jiyong felt a shot of adrenaline go through him and headbutted manager catching him of guard. He grabbed the brandy glass before manager dropped it in his surprise and slammed it against managers head causing the heavy glass to smash everywhere falling to the ground and imbedding itself into managers face and Jiyongs hand. Manager screamed and Jiyong growled "I should kill you" manager looked up with a evil glint "do it.. go to jail you failure ahh imagine the scandal... Bigbangs superstar Gdragon goes to jail over killing his hardworking manager" Jiyong losened his grip on managers shirt and watched the blood run down managers face and his own hand. Silence engulfed the room. Manager stood up and walked away from jiyong who watched him silently. Manager beconned Jiyong to follow him and Jiyong did confused at his wierd behaviour.   
Manager turned around suddenly and punched Jiyong hard in the face. Jiyong fell to the ground the world around him distorting "you thought you could beat me?" He heard manager laugh and then walk away. Jiyong knew he had to get away but he couldnt find the strength and his world was starting to blur. Manager reappeared holding something shiny, Jiyong tred to squirm backwards but it was too late. He felt his shirt get pulled up and the knife slice across his belly just deep enough to be incredibly painful but not deep wnough that it would kill him. His shirt was pulled backdown and His sight was spinning in circles it made him dizzy and he close his eyes in pain. The last thing he heard before blacking out was managers evil laugh.

-Seunghyuns pov-   
he hung up the phone. He knew he had to do what Taeyang said, he often knew best in situations like this. No matter how broken Seunghyun was he still wanted to comfort that man and find out the reason behind his pain. slowly and reluctantly Seunghyun pulled on a hoodie and left the apartment to srive to the company. The drive was long, Seunghyun was reluctant he didn't want anotherr fight and he had a bad feeling. He finally parked at the company and made his way through the familiar route towards Jiyongs office. He opened the door and sighed when he wasn't there, why couldn't Jiyong ever just be there. He walked up the desk and picked up Jiyongs phone he must have gotten a new one... he opened up the phone and looked at the text message, well now he knew where Jiyong was but what the hell was that wording? it sounded aggressive there should'nt be any reason that manager was angry at Jiyong. He placed down the phone and was about to leave before a piece of paper caught his attention. He picked it up and read it, a tear fell down his face these words, they were sad, full of self-hate, sorrow, pain and sorryiness. Seunghyun placed the sheet down. He's in so much pain, maybe in even more than Seunghyun, he hiccuped and pledged in his mind to fix Jiyong and make him happy again. He would help him overcome his sadness and whatever caused it. He walked at a slow thinking pace to managers office not wanting to interupt any important meeting they were having. He heard a strange scream like noise come from the end of the hallway and halted what the hell was that? he then heard manic laughing and then silence. His pace sped up. What..the.. hell. He paused when he saw manager leave his office and walk away , was that blood on his face? ,but he didnt see Jiyong come out aswell and that confused him cause he was definately in there, there was no doubt about it. The bad feeling was making Seunghyun feel sick to the stomach but he wasn't quite sure why. He wasnt sure either that when he reached the door why he hesitated to open it, he felt like if he did his world would end. 

Eventually he mustered up the courage and opened the door, he was met with a black room and felt around for the light when it did flicker on Seunghyun looked around confusedly the room looked like it had been hit by a earthquake, his eyes traveled to the broken glass littering the base of a wall. Then his eyes zeroed in on the red stains on the carpet..  blood? this was way too unsettling and he walked further into the room and almost gagged the smell of iron.. of blood way to pungent for his sensitive smell. He scanned the room and called out Jiyongs name softly in hope that he was somewhere here and fine and could explain the mess. He gasped and froze when he saw managers desk, behind it he could see a hand laying limp against the carpet covered in blood. Even from this distance Seunghyun knew it was Jiyongs he ran to the desk and knelt down next to Jiyongs body "my god JIYONG WAKE UP PLEASE" Seunghyun screamed and tears streamed down his face he felt for Jiyongs pulse and found it, although irregular and faint still strong enough to show Seunghyun that Jiyong wasn't close to death he sighed in relief and brushed Jiyongs bangs out of his eyes. the face he saw was contorted in physical and emotional pain and Seunghyun cursed out loud, manager had to be the one who did this, how could a nice man like that do that to someone as pure as Jiyong, most of all how long has this been going on?. Seunghyun shook his head he needed to take care of Jiyong first. He carefully scooped Jiyong into his arms and carried him out of the office and to his car carfeully placing him in the backseat. Seunghyun hopped into the drivers seat and dialed his private doctor and told him to meet him at his apartment. He hung up and sped off into the traffic racing to get home and hoping that Jiyongs condidtion wouldn't get worse.

Once he got home he wrapped a blanket around Jiyong concealing him and scooped him into his arms again and carried him to the elevator and up to his apartment. He almost kicked down the door and his doctor was waiting patiently on his couch. He shot up when he saw Jiyong limp in Seunghyuns arms "what happened?" he fretted as Seunghyun carefully placed Jiyong onto his couch. "I think he was beaten up.." Seunghyun mummbled and the doctor gasped before preparing to analyse Jiyong. "Can you take of his shirt please" Seunghyun nodded and leant down unwrapping the towel from Jiyongs thin frame. he then unzipped the jacket and pulled it off as carefully as possible. He winced at the dark bruises forming around his wrists and the swelling of his bleeding hand covered in glass. Seunghyun moved to Jiyongs shirt "here's some scissors cut it open" the doctor ordered and Seunghyun nodded getting to work. He grabbed the end of the black material and shuddered a little when he felt wetness soaking through the material he looked at his hand and noticed that it was covered in red. A tear fell down his face and he set to work cutting the material aaway from Jiyongs chest. He gasped when he saw the state of Jiyong, he was covered in bruises and cutes new and old and his frame was unbelievably thin. The worst was the nasty gash across his belly which was still oozing out blood. He heard the doctor next to him gasp and Seunghyuns mind went blank and tears poured down his face he stumbled backwards and fell against the table and onto the floor curling up into himself how much pain has Jiyong been through. He stared balnkly at the couch while the doctor went to work, he had called a few close associates over to help him and made them agree that they wouldn't tell anyone of what they saw. They all respected Jiyongs privacy and went to work trying to ignore the sobbing man behind them.

Once they were done Jiyong was hooked up to a transportable iv and the doctor was doing once last check before nodding "he's ok, there's hardly any risk of him dying, but please don't leave him he will be emotionally distraught when he wakes up and will need you there... also i removed that horrid colar and there's quite bad bruising there make sure Jiyong does'nt jolt his head around it could be quite detramental to the neck tissue" Seunghyun nodded and the doctor packed up "call me straight away when he wakes up, remember i stay at the apartment below you so im close" Seunghyun nodded and thanked him. Once the doctor had left Seunghyyun stood up and walked over to the coach sitting down next to Jiyong. His eyes wondered over where the stitches in Jiyongs belly are, which are now covered in masses of bandages like his hand, and the bruises that coloured him like a painting, one Seunghyun dispises. How long has he been suffereing "Why didn't you tell me, i could have saved you from all this. I promise from now on i will protect you im a failure for not noticing the one i love is in so much pain" Seunghyun sobbed and lay his head against Jiyongs thigh and soon enough fell asleep holding his hand tightly and tears wetting the material beneath him. He fell asleep repeating over and over in his head like a mantra ' i will fix him, i will protect him, i will love him, i will fix him, i will protect him, i will love him..'.


	9. Bottomless hole

 - 3 years earlier-  
Jiyong stretched and sighed their current manager had to resign from his job due to family issues and it's been a stressful few weeks trying to cope without one. Naturally since he was the leader all responsibility fell on him and Seunghyun, the hyung of the group, to look after and organise the rest of the group and ensure they attended all their schedules. He smiled and jumped out of his chair when he heard a knock on the door. He swung open the door of his studio and jumped onto Seunghyun hugging him. "Woah, Jiyong you're rather happy today" Seunghyun laughed, and Jiyong nodded "Our new manager is coming today!!! finally we'll have no responsibility PARTY TIME!!". Seunghyun shook his head and walked into Jiyongs studio and sat on his chair "have you heard anything about him?", Jiyong shook his head and smiled "Im sure he'll be as good as the last" he pulled a peace sign and leaned against the studio table.  
The others arrived together having decided to just pile in one car since they all lived together anyway. Jiyong skipped over to Seungri and Daesung and roughly tousled their hair making them groan before slinging his arm over Taeyangs shoulder and excitedly talking away at his ear. The excited men quietened down when they heard a knock on the door and Jiyong put on his well practiced 'leader face' and opened the door respectively bowing. The CEO and another man stepped in the room and they all greeted eachother, the CEO quietened everyone down "Boys this is your new manager, he's a very capable man and im sure you will all get along very well... He has brought many young stars to fame and he has great organisational and even promotion ideas... He had a unfortunate event in his life were one of his young soon-to-be idols died in a car crash, please show him affection as he still isnt fully recovered from the horrible event." Jiyong looked over to his new manager who's gaze was now on the floor. He felt nothing but empathy, that would have been horrible that poor man, Jiyong bowed "thankyou for working with us manager we promise to be well behaved and help you recover from your loss think of us as your sons". He straightened back up and sent manager the biggest, brightest smile he could muster and was satisfied when manager sent him one back before saying "I hope so, it will be a pleasure to work with such talented, good-looking young men" Jiyong smiled for the nth time. This manager didn't seem all that bad. Oh how wrong he was.

 

Jiyong slumped in the chair and threw back another shot. His gaze wondered around the club, sweaty people were dancing and kissing and Jiyong laughed, this was more like it. He jumped up out of his seat and walked through the crowd looking for Seunghyun. He saw the bingu dancing right in the middle in his own little spotlight, Jiyong giggled and walked over to the lovable idiot who was pulling of the weirdest dance moves. He punched Seunghyun lightly on the shoulder then offered his hand "Yah!! you wanna dance with me?", Seunghyun smirked "I donno can you even keep up with ma sick moves". Jiyong lowered his gaze "Well then we'll just have to see", he grabbed Seunghyuns shirt and started to wiggle his hips and then let go of Seunghyun and started popping. Seunghyun watched him, he was secretely checking Jiyong out cause damn he looked good in those tight, tight jeans Seunghyun nodded his head when Jiyong looked at him "not bad not bad". Seunghyun pranced over to Jiyong then grabbed the back of his head and did a body roll against Jiyong lowering himself a bit, he rolled himself back up and pulled away from Jiyong dancing in his typical bingu ways again. Jiyong coughed and tried to cover his blush blaming it on the hot atmosphere. He waved his hand at Seunghyun nonchalantly and walked of in the other direction, Seunghyun watched him go just so he could watch his gorgeous firm ass sway away from him. He smirked and followed Jiyong already knowing where he was going. Jiyong pulled the curtain apart and walked into the room they always reserve in this club so they could get away from the others. Seunghyun followed him in a few minutes later and they both sat side by side on the large couch. "What do you think of the new manager?" Seunghyun mumbled as he sipped from his wine cup, "I think he's fine, first impressions are good" Seunghyun nodded "what about the car crash thing?" Jiyong tapped his glass and swirled the liquid around "Im not too stressed I mean car crashes arn't rare and it sounded like she was the one driving not him.." Seunghyun huffed in response and they both fell into a comfortable silence. It was these moments which Jiyong cherished, it was like the world had slowed right down and they had to do absolutly nothing. He leaned over and rested his head on Seunghyuns shoulder closing his eyes, he felt safe and happy like this, it was a moment like this which he wanted to confess his love for the older man but everytime he either couldn't muster the courage or was too tired to be bothered. Satisfied in the present he closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep knowing that in the morning he would wake up in either his or Seunghyuns bed, comfy, warm and cuddling the other man. If only he could wake up like that every day of his life.

 

Jiyong ran from his office to managers, a massive grin adorned his face. It's been a couple of months since he had met manager and Jiyong had grown to love him, he was always kind and supportive and actually an amazing manager they havent been late to any schedules and were never over or under worked. Jiyong gripped the disk tighter in his hands, he had finally finished the sample for his first composed piece under the new manager and couldnt wait for the review. He knocked on the door and waited patiently, he heard his manager telling him to come in and did so. "Manager!! how are you? i finished the sample do you wanna hear?" He walked up to the desk and placed the disk infront of manager who looked up at him and smiled, although half-heartidly. Jiyong frowned "Manager are you ok? are you sick or stressed?" Jiyong took in his managers disheveled appearance and frowned. "You're such a caring boy" manager said grabbing the disk "It's gonna get you hurt  someday" Jiyong tilted his head slightly manager was starting to act a little weird. Manager got up and walked over to the corner of his office and poured himself a glass of brandy "You want any boy?" he quirked his eyebrow and Jiyong shook his head, his managers actions making him feel slightly uneasy. Manager walked back to his desk and inserted the disk into the laptop and pressed play, leaning against his desk as the beats filled the room. "You do have talent boy, no wonder you're such a big fuckin deal" Jiyong smiled missing the venom in managers voice, "Thankyou I was hoping to improve it more then add proper vocals and add it to the MADE album" manager nodded his head and placed the finished glass on his desk "Yes that's a good plan make the new album as much self-composed as possible we want this album to be big, even though it probably won't be ready for another two or so years" Jiyong grinned and agreed this album will take a while but it will be worthit. Manager walked over to Jiyong and ruffled his hair "You really love your job don't you?" Jiyong nodded and looked up happily at the man before leaving the room with a hop in his step missing the nasty under-breath comments manager said to his back. Oh how he hated kids like him.

 

A few months after that Jiyong had taken a bit of a break having run into a serious case of writers block. He had to report to manager and walked slowly to his office annoyed in himself that he had done nothing the past few months. He knocked and entered as manager hung up his phone and rubbed his face annoyed "Sit down" manager waved his hand demandingly at Jiyong "Please tell me some good news". Jiyong sighed "Im sorry sir I haven't composed any new songs.. Im finding it a bit hard but im going to meet up with Teddy and we'll get something done". Manager let out a sigh and rubbed his face in annoyance "I ask for one fuckin thing and you can't even do that" Jiyong sunk into his chair scared of the hateful words. Manager stood up and walked infront of Jiyong "stand up boy" Jiyong did as he was told and cried out when managers hand collided with his face sending him crashing back into the chair. Jiyong held his cheek and stared wide-eyed at manager "what the fuck was that for!?" manager scoofed then chuckled "cause you're a fuckin failure, you deserved that so now get your shit together" Jiyong gaped at the words "You can't talk to me like that... you can't hit me". Manager leaned down close to Jiyongs face "oh yes i can... don't tell the others" Jiyong scowled "Whatever i don't care but if I hear that you've hurt any of the others i will personally fire you" manager raised an eyebrow "oh trust me I won't... well that's if you're a good boy and don't tell anyone, we clear?". Jiyong stood up and walked over to the wall just to put distance between them "who are you to tell me what to do? Im the leader I do have power over you" manager flung himself at Jiyong and pushed him back against the wall, his hand gripped Jiyongs neck choking him, he leaned in and whispered in Jiyongs ear "Remember son that the CEO aint here at the moment, so technically I have more power over you, if you tell anyone I will hurt dear Seungri, im sure he won't put up much of a fight... he may even enjoy becoming a toy, enjoy it if i pin him down and force myself on him" Jiyong clawed at the hand around him throat "I..I pro..promise" the hand left and Jiyong fell to the ground gasping for air "fine... just don't hurt them please" manager chuckled and looked down at the coughing man "so pitiful" he nudged at jiyong with his foot. Jiyong looked up as tears ran down his face "the girl... it wasnt an accident was it" manager scowled and kicked Jiyong in the shoulder making him fall further onto the floor "that little bitch was too weak, purpousfully ran herself into the bridge railing, tried to kill me too but she was too stupid" he laughed and Jiyong felt sick to the stomach "what was her name?", manager scowled down at Jiyong "why the fuck do you care, the little whore was called Ayla" Jiyong looked back down to the floor, that poor girl. His manager was a plain psychopath, he could hurt Jiyongs friends, Jiyong wouldn't let that happen, fine he would play managers game until the CEO returned how hard could it be?. That night Seunghyun waited for Jiyong at the club frowning when he never showed up.

 

Months were passing and the abuse got worse and worse Jiyongs body lost weight as it was slowly painted and scarred. Even when the CEO returned Jiyong couldn't find it in himself to tell him of what was going on. It was too hardwired in his brain that if he told, the ones he loved would suffer so he made a new game, a game of secrets, of faces and lies, a game of pain, blood and tears. Seunghyun noticed the deflation of Jiyongs ego, the lack of his presence and the almost irradication of any sort of fun like going to clubs. He talked less, ate less, acted serious, flinched, never showed as much affection as usual and just acted off. Seunghyun didn't know what to do. Jiyong was falling into a hole that just got deeper and deeper.

 

-present day-

 

Jiyong growned as he woke up his entire body ached and his stomach felt like it was on fire. He looked around at the strange surroundings and relised that he was in Seunghyuns house, how strange he swear he was just in managers office... the memories suddenly came flooding back and Jiyongs breath quickened he saw glass, his neck constricted at the force of the colar, a fist connecting to his face a knife slicing open his belly. He started to hyperventilate he had to take the colar off he didnt want to belong to the monster, his hands landed on soft skin instead of the tough leather yet he still clawed at his neck trying to rid himself of the memory of the horrid thing. He couldn't breath, the room was constricting around him. He screamed when he felt hands grab his shoulders and begged for them to not hurt him he tried to wretch his head away from the person but a large hand prevented him from moving. His vision was black and he felt nothing but pure fear for the pain he anticipated was coming next. Instead, however, he felt something warm and soft press against his lips and the hands held his head in place. Slowly Jiyongs vision cleared and so did his brain the fear fading away, he stopped hyperventilating and breathed slowly again. He opened his eyes and was met with a mop of brown hair, the soft warmth left Jiyongs lips and he relised that it was Seunghyuns lips. He looked at the beautiful man and saw massive bags under his eyes and tears staining his cheeks, Jiyong looked down and noticed that he was shirtless and covered with a blanket and that an iv  was hooked to his arm. Jiyong opened his mouth  to speak but instead coughs came out of his mouth, his throat burned. Seunghyun brushed Jiyongs cheek "I... You're alright Jiyong, you're safe here ill protect you.. I.. I will just call the doctor up to check on you" Jiyong stared at the wrecked man and a tear fell down his face, what had he done to Seunghyun, Jiyong was a horrible person, a selfish prick who was too cowardice to save himself and eventually bring all those around him down into his bottomless hole.

 

Jiyong stared at the ceiling as the doctor examined his injuries again, he scowled at tje thought of people seeing him like this. The doctor removed the iv and nodded deep in though, "It looks like you're body will heal nicely Jiyong you're lucky, iv seen a whole lot worse.. I dont want you living alone and Seunghyun has offered to stay by your side and look after you" He knelt down and grabbed Jiyong hand making Jiyong look at him "I...Ive seen the effects of depression on kids like you" his hand tightened "please... don't give up, get help, be with your friends I know it's hard especially with the factor of fame as well... you can always talk to me im here for you, my daughter.. I lost her quite a few years ago, Ayla her name was, I miss her and I don't want you to go through the same pain she did... we never even knew" The doctor hiccuped and went to pull his hand away, pure sorrow took over his face, Jiyong scowled and his hand tightened around the doctors "That fucking asshole... im going to kill him" Jiyongs voice was cracking and quiet but the doctor heard it. Jiyong looked up to the doctor and smiled the best he could before coughing and starting to talk again "Thankyou doctor im truly greatful... I promise you that monster who killed your daughter and tore me apart will go to jail, will experience more pain than I ever did"  the doctor nodded "just make sure you look after yourself first neh?" Jiyong slightly smiled and the doctor left. Seunghyun walked up to Jiyong and sat down on the floor next to him "You are the strongest person iv ever met" Jiyong looked at Seunghyun in confusion "You suffered through all of that yourself and you... you nearly died last night but you still smile, you still look after others" Jiyong lifted his hand and wiped away the tear that ran down Seunghyuns face "Im a dragon im *cough* bulletproof" Seunghyun laughed half-hearrtidly. "I just wish you told me youve been through so much pain and I was so stupid and ignorant to never notice I just... I want to help you and I feel so useless and I love you and I feel like my insides are breaking down from your pain" Jiyong heart panged and a tear ran down his own face. He stroked Seunghyuns cheek "im sorry" his eyelids became heavy as a wave of nausia over took him and he fell back into a restless sleep, the last thing him seeing was Seunghyun burst into tears.

 

-Seungris pov-

 

He smiled and rolled over in the bed coming face to face with the man spooning him. Seungri kissed Daesungs nose and giggled at it's cute twitch in response. Seungri stared at Daesungs handsome face and leant in leaving a light kiss on his lips, he smiled "Im so happy" he whispered and Daesungs lips tilted upwards slightly "me too". Seungri sat up suddenly "you were awake?!" Daesung chuckled and sat up too stretching before leaning on his arm and looking Seungri up and down sexually "you're more romantic than i thought" Seungri swallowed and stared at the shirtless man infront in him. Daesung smiled and grabbed Seungri and flopped back down onto the bed hugging him. They heard a knock on the door and lazily told Taeyang he could come in. Taeyang leaned against the doorframe "awwww cute" he laughed and Seungri sat up dragging a clingy Daesung up with him, "What is it hyung?" Taeyang smiled "im being serious you two make the cutest couple... and also breakfasts ready" Taeyang swung himself back out into the corridor and walked back to the kitchen. Seungri looked down at Daesung who had fallen asleep against his shoulder and was slightly drooling, he smiled lovingly and poked Daesungs forehead "Yah!! hyung you're drooling on me" Seungri pushed Daesung off the bed making him groan in annoyance "you can't do that to me nowww" Seungri ran to the door and stuck out his tounge "just cause you upgraded your status from Seungris best friend to Seungris boyfriend it doesnt mean im gonna treat you any better" Daesung threw a pillow at him but it hit the wall as Seungri ran away to the kitchen. Daesung laughed and lay on the floor, how did he possibly love that annoying idiot so much.   
Seungri leaned against the table "what did you make!!", Taeyang scoffed at him "just boxers?" Seungri laughed "you expect me to get dressed? aish such trouble it's like you dont even know me" he dramatically posed making Taeyang laugh "I made pancakes". Seungri jumped up and down "FOREIGN BREAKFAST FOREIGN BREAKFAST DAESUNGIE WE HAVE FOREIGN BREAKFAST" Daesung came around the corner dressed and rubbing his eyes. They all sat down and dug into their meal, Taeyang smirked as he watched the two lovers, cheesy as they were he did love them and supported the relationship. He pulled his phone out of his pocket once he finished eating and scrolled through his messages replying to his friends he heard a bang and looked up  seeing that Seungri was on the floor not his seat and Daesung was laughing. Taeyang shook his head and jumped a bit when the phone in his hand vibrated, he looked at the notification and noticed that it was a text from manager. "hmm strange" Daesung and Seungri looked up from their wrestle match on the floor "What is it hyung?" Daesung asked his hands pinning Seungri to the floor showing that he had lost once again. "Manager wants to see me" Taeyang shrugged "it's probably to discuss promotions" Daesung nodded and got up off Seungri and stretched "you better go then" Taeyang got up and grabbed his coat greatful that he got dressed before breakfast and left the apartment.  
-Seunghyuns pov-

 

Seunghyun felt Jiyongs hand go limp in his for the second time, he burst out into tears it was all too much, he wanted to kill manager he wanted revenge, he wanted answers. He opened his phone and dialed a number "Hello? Chaelin... ah yes im good i guess... um can you do me a massive favour?... you sure?... ok thankyou, umm Jiyong is uhh really sick at the moment and i can't leave his side.. I need to go somewhere it's pretty urgent I was wondering if you could come to my house and look after him?... You can ahhh I knew I could rely on you Chaelin-ah thankyou... ahh now please" Seunghyun hung up the phone and waited for her to arrive. He stood up and found the biggest jacket possible and walked back over to Jiyong and slightly lifted him and dressed him careful not to upset any of his injuries. Seunghyun looked at Jiyongs bruised and cut face and his heavily bandaged hands.. how would he explain this?. Seunghyun had and idea and went over to his draws and pulled out a oversized face mask and carefully put it over Jiyongs chin, mouth and cheeks. He stepped back satisfied, he then placed a blanket over Jiyong to make sure that he was comfortable and warm, it was then he heard Chaelin knock on the door. He walked over and forced a grin on his face, he opened and Chaelin instantly greeted him happily "hello oppa!!" she walked in and threw her bag down on the table "now where's the sick baby? I knew he was sick I told him" Seunghyun grabbed her hand and guided her to the coach. Her bright smile instantly faded and she knelt down next to Jiyong and stroked his cheek "wow he looks horrible the poor thing, he must be sicker than i thought" Seunghyun placed a hand on her shoulder and she looked up sadly "he's a bit fragile at the moment, don't ask him any questions and he's also on medication so some things he sayd may be a bit... strange I guess, keep him warm and make sure you're there whenever he wakes up, give him plenty of water and try to feed him if he wakes up... the doctor is downstairs aannd umm i guess ill be back as soon as possible thankyou Chaelin-ahh" Chaelin nodded and stood up hugging Seunghyun before sitting back down next to Jiyong "poor oppa". Seunghyun smiled and went to his room changing into a slightly more presentable attire and left the apartment after checking on Jiyong once more. He drove to the company his knuckles going white from the harsh grip he had on the wheel, he growled and stepped on the gas going faster.

 

Seunghyun jumped out of his car and didnt even bother locking it before storming into the building. He went to the managers office and breathed in and out trying to calm himself before he did anything rash. He knocked on the door and heard a gruff "come in", Seunghyun did that and stormed right up to the desk manager shifted the papers on his desk "ahh Taeya.." his voice faded out when he finally looked up and saw the angry man towering over his desk "Seunghyun what can i do for you today?" Seunghyun gasped slightly as he relised that manager had no clue that Seunghyun saw what he did to Jiyong, he had to use this to his advantage. He stepped back slightly and relaxed his posture, he glanced casually around the room "ahh not much manager... wait whats that?" Seunghyun walked over to the spot he saw blood yesterday "did you spill something hyung?" Seunghyun feigned innocence and saw with some pleasure the shock which clouded managers face "I..I spilled some brandy my mistake im so clumsy sometimes" he smiled at Seunghyun which made him sick to the stomach. He kicked the bit of carpet and spun on his heal walking over to the pictures on the wall "Hyung?.. iv always wondered what this picture was of" manager huffed silently and got up out of his chair walking over to were Seunghyun was standing and looked at the picture confusedly "That.. that's you silly it's your MADE tour remember? are you drunnk?" he looked sideways to Seunghyun who had gotten pretty close to manager and was looking down at him "oh I never relised" Seunghyun spat out and he flung his fist and punched manager square in the nose making him shout out in surprise and fall to the ground. Seunghyun grabbed his hair and wretched his head backwards making him look up at Seunghyun "is this what you've being to Jiyong all these years?". Managers eyes widened as relisation washed over him so that's how Jiyong got away yesterday "I don't understand... please dont hurt me i didnt do anything.. im sorry" It was managers turn now to feign innocence and Seunghyun snarled before faking a smile "oh my mistake" he let go of managers hair and pulled him up. Manager stared at him and laughed scared "it's ok I think you're drunk" Seunghyun then kicked manager in the balls and punched his face again as he bent forwards in pain. "You fucking liar, I know what you did, now you better stop lying and answer all of my questions truthfully" manager looked up at Seunghyun and growled "What are you trying to do boy?" Seunghyun walked around manager who was frozen in place and Seunghyun dragged his finngers softly around Managers neck as he walked "What am I doing? im training a monster" Seunghyuns fingers tightened their grip on the back of managers neck and Seunghyun pushed forward harshly slamming managers head into the wall, he kept applying the pressure so managers head stayed smushed against the cold wall. "how long were you doing it for?", manager coughed "what do you mean?" Seunghyun released managers head then slammed it against the wall again "you know full well what i mean" he snarled. Manager knew his cover was blown and dropped all his masks and snarled "I didn't even do it for that long ahaha what a wuss, he was a good toy how's he doing?" Seunghyuns grip tightened on managers neck his breath going out of control again, this psychopath had balls. "How...long" Seunghyun growled "hmm i guess somewhat 2 and a half years... now if you don't mind I would rather it if you let me go so i could clean up the blood my head is staining the walls with" Seunghyun screamed and let goof manager then kicked him in the stomach making him fall to the ground again "why the fuck would you do that to someone especially to Jiyong who has been nothing but kind to you!!! I know what you did to Ayla too youre a psychopath... a monster!!!" Manager laughed evilly "Spoiled brats like you kids deserve it" Seunghyuns hands curled up next to his sides and black obscured his vision.

 

-Taeyangs pov-

 

Taeyang got out of his car and locked the doors, he pulled the coat tighter around himself damn it was cold today. He started to walk towards the garage door and stopped slightly when he saw Seunghyuns car, hmm strange maybe manager wanted to see both of them. He shrugged and whistled a tune as he walked to managers office, he wondered if Seunghyun and Jiyong had finally made up and everything was resolved, he had to ask Seunghyun after the meeting. He tilted his head when he heard a bang come from managers office he walked up and knocked on the door, but he heard no reply instead he heard a weird smack sound. He jumped when he heard Seunghyuns shout "You fucking asshole!!!" his eyes widened and he burst through the door almost falling back against it when it closed from shock. He saw Seunghyun holding manager by the collar and continuously punch the man in the stomach then push manager to the floor and start to attack his face. Taeyang snapped out of his shock and sprung forewards grabbing Seunghyun by the waist and pulled the angry man back "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!" Seunghyun thrashed around in his arms and his arm swung back hitting Taeyang in the nose, Taeyang flinched at the cracking sound but kept a tight hold on the man "SEUNGHYUN!! calm down iv got you stop it" he talked to Seunghyun and felt the man relax in his arms and eventually stop moving. Taeyang carefully sunk down to the floor and cradeled the now crying man in his arms, he looked up to see that manager had managed to pull himself up of the floor and was holding his face, blood staining his hands. Taeyang looked at manager "wha..what happened?" manager swayed slightly then pointed at Seunghyun "the man *cough* is insane *coygh*... he attacked me for no ... reason" managers breathing was heavy. Seunghyun thrashed around in Taeyangs arms again "YOU FUCKING LIAR!!" Taeyang looked down at the man in his arms, he believed Seunghyun more than manager and wondered what the seemingly innocent man did to rile this much hate from the man who normally wouldn't hurt a fly. "I think you should leave" Taeyang snarled at manager, he obviously did something to hurt his friends and that wasn't acceptable, but he would deal with him later. "you will go to jail if it's the last thing I do" Seunghyun whispered from Taeyangs lap making managers eyes widen and he limped out of the room frightened of the men who were both now staring daggers into him. Taeyang brushed Seunghyuns hair from his forehead and wiped away the tears that still fell from his face. "what happened Seunghyun?" Seunghyun sat up and out of Taeyangs arms and looked at him another tear falling down his face. "I..I think it's best you see for yourself... I won't beable to descibe it to you.. it.. it hurts too much" Taeyang stood up and helped Seunghyun up, Seunghyun wobbled over to the desk and came back with a few tissues, Taeyang sent him a questioning gaze when Seunghyun offered them to him "Your nose is bleeding.. im sorry" Taeyang reached up and looked at the blood that he wiped from his nose, he almost forgot that Seunghyun elbowed him in the nose. He wiped up the blood and was pretty sure that it wasnt bleeding, satisfied he walked over to Seunghyun and grabbed his hand slowly leading him back to his car "where too?" Seunghyun tightened his grip on Taeyang "my house" he curled in on himself on the seat and looked down at his hands which were covered in blood.

 

Taeyang drove to Seunghyuns house worriedly glancing once and a while over at the broken man who was deep in thought. He pulled into a car spot and walked over to Seunghyun and helping him out "we should clean you up first?" Seunghyun nodded and Taeyang walked to his boot aand pulled out a blanket which he always keeps there, he poured water on it and walked back over to Seunghyun cleaning off all the blood from his hands, face and shirt. He ruffled Seunghyuns hair and threw the blanket over the top of the car and they walked together to Seunghyuns apartment. Seunghyun knocked and Chaelin opened "why didnt you take your key oppa so silly... before you ask, no he didnt wake up and he seems to be fine iv sat by him the whole time" Seunghyun smiled at her and ruffled her hair. Taeyang looked confusedly between the two what was she talking about?. Chaelin walked back in "I should probably leave you boys alone... im expecting round the clock updates and I wanna see him when he's better" she demanded and the two boys nodded "ok bye bye oppas, stay healthy" she waved and left the apartment. "What was she talking about hyung?" Taeyangs hand shook, the feeling he had kept getting worse he felt like bursting out into tears but held them back for Seunghyuns sake. Seunghyun nodded towards the couch and Taeyang followed his gaze to see a pile of blankets and a mop of coloured hair poking out the top "Ji?" Taeyang walked over to the blankets and stroked Jiyongs forehead "he's awfully pale, I don't understand, what does this have to do with manager?" Seunghyun sighed and walked over, he carefully lifted Jiyongs head like he was made of glass and removed the face mask. Taeyang stepped forewards and brushed his thumb softly over the bruise colouring the expanse of Jiyongs cheek and a tear fell down his face, things were slowly making sense. Seunghyun lightly pushed Taeyang away "that's not the worse of it" he simply said before pushing down the blankets and lifting the bottom of Jiyongs large jumper. That was when Taeyang finally broke, when the tears fell down his cheeks and his voice caught in his throat causing him to choke. He couldn't imagine the amount of pain each bruise, each cut, each wound new and old contained. "ma..manager did this?" Seunghyun nodded and Taeyang fell to the ground sobbing loudly. He felt a shaky hand on his cheek wipe away the tears "don't cry Tae... I know im broken...that im ugly now, but don't cry" Taeyang looked up in surprise and sobbed more seeing the dead dark brown ones staring at him "Ji, you're awake!! omg im so sorry im so sorry I should have noticed oh god if only I noticed... my beautiful Ji" he grabbed the frail hand and nuzzled it "It's not your fault Tae" Jiyong smiled with his eyes and Taeyangs heart broke, Jiyong acted like the hell he went through never happened. 

 

Seunghyun kissed Jiyongs forehead and his eyes fluttered closed "let me rest,Ill eat.. Ill eat when I get off this couch" Jiyong smiled and his breath evened. "He has no energy.. how bad was it" Seunghyun sat down next to Taeyang on the coach opposite Jiyong, it was a few hours later and Taeyang had finally stopped crying and Jiyong was well hydrated, yet he still refused to eat. Seunghyun retold the whole story which he had gathered and Taeyangs heart shattered even more "He.. he went through all of that.. how did we never relise, our poor leader... our poor friend, I wish we could share his pain" Seunghyun nodded and pulled Taeyang in close to him and hugged him comfortably with one arm "all wecan do is help Jiyong recover and make sure that monster spends the rest of his life in prison" Taeyang nodded against Seunghyuns shoulder and they fell into a depressed silence staring at the strong yet broken man infront of them. Jiyongs phone started to ring and he looked at the caller id "It's Daesung... when shall we tell them? they're so happy at the moment and I know Jiyong won't want to be the reason for them to lose any of that happiness" Seunghyun questured to the phone "answer it, don't tell them yet, we'll tell them later" Taeyang nodded and slid the answer button "Daesung?... neh... im with Seunghyun... you're where?... ok ill come now" Taeyang hung up then stared at his phone, then back up to Seunghyun "They're at the hospital...they found manager" Seunghyuns hands fisted "he'll frame us" Taeyang grabbed Seunghyuns hand and lightly squeezed it "don't jump to conclusions hyung... ill go and sort this out your only priority is Jiyong... ill tell the kids" Seunghyun nodded and thanked Taeyang hugging him. Taeyang sighed and walked over to Jiyong and leant down kissing his forehead "be strong Ji we love you" he then left, if he had any tears left he would be crying.

 

It didn't take him long to reach the hospital, he walked into the reception thankful that he arrived before the media caught wind of what was happening. He pulled his mask on higher and saw Seungri pacing around worriedly and Daesung trying to calm him down. Seungri saw Taeyang and ran over to  him "HYUNG!!! it was horrible we went to Jiyongs house to go see him and instead we found manager bleeding and bruised and in horrible condition on Jiyongs doorstep" Seungri grabbed Taeyangs hands and tried to pull him towards managers room "hyung? he's this way we're allowed to visit he's in okish condition" Daesung was standing next to Seungri now and quirked his head at Taeyang "are you ok? you look like you've just crued for three hours straight" Taeyang laughed half-heartidly Daesung didn't know how right he was. Taeyang said he was fine and Seungri nodded then his face went thoughtful "I wonder who did such a horrible thing to manager-hyung... he was in alot of pain" Taeyang growled "Seunghyun" Seungri and Daesung looked at him "what?", Taeyang looked them both in the eye "Seunghyun" Seungri huffed "yeh? Seunghyun what?", "Seunghyun did it, he did that to manager". Seungris hands dropped to his side and his jaw hung open, Daesungs eyes went wide and the whole world seemed to go silent "But why?" Daesungs hands shook he couldn't fathom Seunghyun doing something so horrible to another person "Because manager is a psycopathic monster and deserved it" Seungri and Daesung stepped back in unison shock over taking their usually cheerful faces. "I..I don't understand"


	10. Pictures and Locks

Taeyang looked behind him and scowled at the cameras pushed against the windows and reporters not so subtly trying to catch snippets from their conversation. "We should talk somewhere else... you two go to the studio thats closest, ill follow in a while and explain everything" Daesung lifted his hand to protest but Seungri grabbed it and pulled it down. He looked over and saw Seungris stern face and opted to follow Seungris lead, he may act stupid and squishy all the time but in serious situations he always managed to do the right thing. He let himself be pulled out of the hospital by Seungri and cowered as cameras were shoved in his face and loud voices demanded explanations of what was happening everything was too confusing and he saw Seungris eyes start to tear, they didnt know what to think.

Taeyang turned his back to the cameras and instead walked further into the hospital, to the room that Seungri had mentioned. He growled when he saw the hangul on the door spelling out their managers name and breathed in deeply preparing himself to confront the monster. He swung open the door and almost started to yell until he relised that manager was asleep on the bed, an iv stuck out of his arm and a oxygen mask ensured he comfortably breathed. Taeyangs fists clenched, managers face was relaxed and innocent, covered in bruises and bandages, he looked like a victim not the phsychopath he is. Taeyang walked up to the bed "i hope you never wake up" he whispered, he noticed that a phone was laying on the countertop and grabbed it identifying it instantly as managers. He opened it up having known the password from asking manager if he could use his phone a few years ago. He scrolled through the apps and saw a tracker app, opening it he saw the only contact on it was named 'pet' and he instantly recognised the number as Jiyongs. "Ji" Taeyang muttered sadly and his knuckles were turning white from gripping the phone too hard. He got out of the app and curiously opened up the photos, he instantly regretted the decision as millions of stalkerish photos popped up of Jiyong, he gasped as he clicked on one photo enlarging it and seeing the horror. Jiyong was laying on the floor crying with his shirt torn open and blood and bruises all over his chest, his neck was showing purple finger marks and his legs were harshly tied with chains. Taeyang couldnt stand to look at the picture anymore and quickly changed cringing more and more as different pictures of torture and even ones of bigbang hanging out appeared. His finger paused as one in particular appeared, he remembered this day, and now he relised he could of saved Jiyong that day. Jiyong was sat in managers lap fully clothed this time, Jiyongs eyes were ccovered with a blindfold yet tears still showed and he had managers hand tightly holding his mouth closed, which was covered in blood, in the background was Taeyang walking past the window of the room. That day he had heard a scream and tried to find the source of it as it sounded scaringly familiar and full of pain. After this photo manager had come out and told taeyang that it was him when he dropped books on his foot and Taeyang believed that bastard. He gasped when the next photo came up, his insides were breaking, Jiyong was pinned to the wall in a gross alley way by three men who were touching his beautiful chest and scarring it with their grubby hands, the biggest man was so close to Jiyongs mouth that they looked like they were kissing, his hand had pulled Jiyongs jean slightly off and his hand was half inserted into Jiyongs boxers. Jiyong was crying and screaming how much had Jiyong truly been through how far did the men go? Taeyang could no longer look at the horrible pictures and opted instead to send the photos to his own phone for evidence and he placed the phone back before turning to leave. On the way he harshly pulled the iv out making manager wake up with a scream and blood to pool in the wound. Taeyang was long gone before the nurses arrived.

~Seungris pov~

Daesung and Seungri sat in the studio which Jiyong used the most and waited for Taeyang, Daesung was curled against Seungris chest and whimpering slightly, the awful feeling was consuming them all they knew that whatever happened was horrible. Finally the door opened and Taeyang marched in angrily, Seungri kept quite but noticed the way that Taeyang looked like he had aged, he looked stressed, horrified and most importantly extremely sad. Almost like someone had died and taken a part of them with them. Taeyang stormed to the corner of the studio and searched the wall then stormed to the other studying the entire length of the walls. Seungri hugged Daesung closer "Hyu..hyung what are you doing? You're slightly scaring me" Taeyang pulled at his hair and cursed "of course... no wonder Jiyong used this studio all the time it has no fucking security cameras that idiot" Seungri curled into himself and Daesung whimpered again they were both scared and confused. Taeyang suddenly spun on his heal and marched out of the studio. Seungri jumped up and pulled Daesung up to and ran after Taeyang "HYUNG!!!" they followed him to managers office and watched as he scoured the walls again. Taeyang looked at the two behind him and his face softened and then went impossibly sadder "im sorry... I just, I want answers... evidence" Daesung pulled out of Seungris arms "we do too hyung!!!!" Taeyang sighed and brushed back his hair. He looked around still determined to find something, anything, he walked around to managers desk and saw a draw with a lock, a almost manic smile took over his features there had to be something in there. He couldnt pull the draw open and looked around the room his eyes landed on a metal sculpture and he shrugged picking it up then slamming it against the draw. Seungri jumped and Daesung instantly leant into Seungri and the two backed away, Taeyang was scaring them, Seungri hiccuped and a tear fell down his cheek. Taeyang kept bashing the draw and finally the lock broke and the draw slid open, Taeyang dropped the sculpture and didnt acknowledge the blood now running down his palm. His eyes widened and his hands slammed onto the table in anger "GODDAMMIT!!" he couldnt bare to look in the draw any longer the many items of torture teased him, he wanted to destroy everything.... especially that horrid man. He breathed heavily and his vision was going black the anger and pain was too much. Seungri causiously walked over and placed his hand on Taeyangs shoulder then pulled him into a hug. Taeyangs body relaxed and his breatj went shuddery and he hugged back and whimpered into aseungris shoulder.

Daesung walked over to the draw and gasped what the hell?!! He picked up the item ontop which happened to be a whip, he looked at the rest of the items... a shock collar... a knife which had dried blood on it... chains... ropes... blindfolds. Daesung closed the draw horrified things were still not making sense. He looked at Seungri who wore the same horrified, scared facial expression, Taeyang pulled away from Seungri and looked at the two "hyung?" Daesung whispered. Taeyangs head dropped and his bangs covered his eyes "he... he used those.." his voice broke and he struggled to continue "he used those on his 'pet'" he ended up spitting out. Seungris head tilted in question "his pet" Taeyang whimpered "Jiyong." Daesung looked at Seungri who was balling his eyes out kneeling on the floor, this was just a nightmare right??!! Taeyang threw his phone at Daesung who looked at the horific photos. His hands shook and tears fell down his cheeks, he felt dizzy and his vision blurred.the phone fell to the floor and The last thing he remembered was falling to the ground.

~Jiyongs pov~

He clawed at the bars, the spikes stabbing his sides dug in further, the gag was made of glass he couldnt cream for help he couldnt save his friends who were sprawled on the grass infront of his covered in blood. Manager held his chin up "look at them, this is all your fault you useless whore, they found out... you let them... now look at them" manager stroked the expanse of Jiyongs back and pushed him further onto the floor of the cage. "You're my pet remember that" Jiyong nodded and felt blood pooling on the floor beneath him, he felt another pair of hands on him and looked over seeing the grotty face of the men from the alley "hello baby, shall we finish what we started?" Jiyong screamed into the gag as his pants were ripped off and the man situated himself between his legs "Jiyong!!" He heard a yell and looked behind him seeing Seunghyun watching him with a outstretched hand "Jiyong im here!!" Jiyong outstretched his hand trying to touch Seunghyuns screaming when the man roughly assaulted him. "JIYONG!!!!" Jiyong shot up from the couch tears pouring down his face he rapidly looked around the room "dont hurt me please!!!" Jiyong looked over and saw not the grotty mans face but Seunghyuns beautiful one "Seung..seunghyun?" Jiyong broke into tears again it was just a dream... it felt so real... he thought he lost his family. "I..i need to... to go please" jiyongs head whipped around fearfully checking every corner of the room "Jiyong.. baby calm down he's not going to hurt you anymore" jiyongs eyes widened "you dont understand!!! Thats the problem!!! He'll hurt you guys" jiyong tried to get up but Seunghyun held him down "he wont i promise hes going away for good i promise!!" Jiyongs body slackened he had no energy left and sleep was overtaking him once again "i... i need to protect... they'll punish me... punish you" Seunghyun grabbed Jiyongs shoulders "THEY'LL joyong goddammit!! Was there more people than just manager!!... jiyong!!!!" Seunghyun shook Jiyongs shoulders softly but it was no use he was fast asleep again. "There..was more?!?".

Seunghyun didnt move for the next two hours and stared at Jiyongs face, it was more relaxed and when those beautiful eyes did open they were sad and weak. Seunghyun said nothing just wrapped his hand around the back of Jiyongs gead and pulled him into his chest hugging him. Jiyongs hands tightened their grip on Seunghyuns top "I.. I love you, im sorry im so broken... i just... I love you so much please don't leave me" seunghyun was taken aback from the sudden muffled confession and a tear rolled down his cheek and he shoved his nose into Jiyongs hair inhaling the mans scent "I love you too, Ill never leave you no matter what happens... i forgive you for everything I love you and will fight for you, I will make sure you smile again" he felt Jiyong slightly smile against his chest and he kissed the top of his head "now will you please get if this couch and eat something... you're too skinny" Jiyong pulled away and shakily got up swaying a bit "I.. I will get better for you... then maybe we can be together properly" Jiyong fell forwards slightly and Seunghyun caught him and helped the shaky man walk to the kitchen and sit on the bar stool "im proud of you" Seunghyun kissed Jiyongs cheek and smiled lovingly at him "you're so beautiful. Jiyong looked Seunghyun in the eye and some of the shine returned, Jiyong was slowly learning to live again.


	11. False Claims

"open wide🎶" Seunghyun singsonged, Jiyong scrunched up his nose at the spoon being waved infront of his face and stubbornly kept his mouth closed. Seunghyun leant over the table and continued to act like the spoon was an aeroplane, he grinned widely at Jiyong "youre gonna have to be fed". Jiyong scoffed and didnt open his mouth flinching when the spoon collided with his nose "oops hyung missed" Seunghyun smirked. Jiyong wiped his nose and pouted "i dont need to be fed im a big boy i can fee.." he was cut of mid sentence when Seunghyun shoved the spoon into hos mouth. "There that wasnt that bad now was it" Jiyong chewed the food slowly still not used to such yummy meals, or infact eating at all.

Seunghyun smiled and rested his head in his hands as he watched Jiyong slowly eat the food he had made him. Jiyong got halfway through before pushing the bowl away "im...im sorry im full... thankyou for the meal" Seunghyun nodded, Jiyong looked down at his hands and mumbled "im sorry for not eating it all... im just not used to food... i promise to do better next time". Jiyong stopped talking when he felt Seunghyuns arms wrap around his neck and his lips press against Jiyongs forehead "you ate plenty im proud of you, i know it will take a while to get your full apetite back but ill help you" Jiyong let out a rare smile and nestled the back of his head into Seunghyuns chest "I...I love you", "I love you too" Seunghyun leant over Jiyongs shoulder and kissed the corner of his mouth softly "ill always protect you". 

Jiyong let Seunghyun help him back to the sofa "you know, i love your sofa" Seunghyun chuckled at the random comment and set Jiyong down. Jiyong picked up the tv remote but Seunghyun placed his hand ontop of Jiyongs "are you sure you want to do that?" Jiyong looked at the black screen and gulped, no doubt was this all over the news. He looked down to Seunghyuns hand "yeh... i need to know what theyre saying... as long as you dont leave me" seunghyun hesitated before taking his hand away from Jiyong and agreed. Jiyong turned on the tv and gulped. The tv flicked onto a western cartoon chanel, "really Seunghyun?" Seunghyun smiled sheepishly "what its good" Jiyong chuckled softly and sighed as Seunghyuns hand threaded its way into his hair and started playing with the strands. He brought up the tv guide and flicked to the news channel. 

It was talking about a armed robbery which went on for about ten minutes, after that it switched back to the news reporter who looked down at her pages and looked up sadly "now to our feature story, about a day ago Bigbangs manager was admitted to the hospital where he lays in critical condition with internal bleeding. He was beaten up by an unknown person, Bigbangs Youngbae, Seungri and Daesung were seen visiting their manager and Seunghyun and Jiyong have yet to show themselves" Jiyong sat up as footage of Seungri and Daesung was shown being harrassed coming out of the hospital then later a clearly angry and dishevled Youngbae followed. He gulped, they all knew didnt they, he looked down at his hands in shame "hyung... why is manager in hospital?". Seunghyun looked down at Jiyong and his hand tightened pulling Jiyongs hair softly "I...I lost control..." Jiyongs eyes widened and he looked back to the tv unable to say anything he didnt know how he was feeling he hated that Seunghyun stooped that low but happy that manager experienced some of the pain Jiyong lived with. "..news has arrived that Bigbangs manager has awoken, he is stressed and sore but he has made his claim to police who are starting a case, we shall now switch over to the police officers" Jiyong tilted his head, manager sould never admit the truth so he had to make up a lie but what was it "...when he woke up he immediately asked to make a claim to the police, when we arrived he told us that the person who beat him up was none other than the man he was managing Choi Seunghyun" Jiyong fists closed and tightened he hated that man. "He also stated that Mr Choi has always been a heartless and violent man... he had seen Mr Choi attack Mr Kwon Jiyong on multiple occasions" Jiyong and Seunghyun froze what..the..hell. Jiyong threw the remote shattering it against the wall "GODDAMMIT IM GOING TO KILL HIM!!!" he shoved his face into his hands and pulled at his hair. Seunghyun pulled him into a hug "shush Jiyong it'll be okay, we just have to make our own claim we have enough evidence to put that monster away for life" 

Jiyong sobbed "but...our image its ruined and its all my fault" Seunghyun tightened his hold "your not the one making a false claim on tv are you? Youre not the one who put manager into the spotlight by hospitalising him are you? Jiyong you need to understand youre the victim and nothing is your fault, I will forever protect you fuck Bigbangs image the fans know us enough to trust us not him". Jiyong nodded and shoved his face into Seunghyuns chest crying. Eventually he fell asleep against Seunghyun and Seunghyun pat his hair and tucked him in before leaving the room and dialing a number "hello?... yes, is this the police station?... ne, its Choi Seunghyun i would like to speak to the cheif investigator on the case involving our manager and make my own claim... why in person?... ne that makes sense, so when can i come?... ok thankyou bye" Seunghyun sighed and leaned against the wall running his fingers through his hair, he didnt want to leave Jiyong but he needed to make this claim he couldnt let him win. He would wait till Taeyang came back then go.

~taeyangs pov~

Taeyang sat on the floor holding a crying Daesung in his lap. He was quick enough to catch Daesung before he hit the ground when he fainted and Daesung woke up a few minutes later and vurst into tears and started mummbling about what he would have done if only he knew. Seungri sat on the floor leaning against tge desk staring of into space with a blank look it was all too much, too surreal for him. The door of the office burst open and Taeyang jumped ready to defend his friends from the unknown person but relaxed when he saw it was just the CEO "oh thank god your here iv been looking for you all forever!!" He stormed over and kneeled nxt to Daesung and Taeyang wiping the tears on Daesungs cheeks "ok I really need an explanation, your manager is in hospital and now the news is saying that Seunghyun did it!! And Jiyong? I knew he was acting weird... but Seunghyun is the least violent person I know he wouldnt do that... im so confused" he sat down on the floor with them and ran his hand over his face in fustration "I love you guys youre like my children I just... I just need to know the truth please" Taeyang nodded and pointed to the open draw. "You see all that stuff in there?" YG stood up and looked in the draw his eyes widening " he used those on Jiyong... he's been abusing Ji for two or more years and we didnt even know... that man is a monster" YG picked up a chain and grimaced at the dried blood on it. "I.. I dont understand" Taeyang showed him the photos and Ygs face contorted in ahock then anger "I hired that man... in a way its my fault... my poor children, I will make sure he gets the judgement he deserves" his face softened when he looked at the three broken boys infront of him, he grabbed the tissue box and gave then to Daesung and then took a bandage from the first aid box and cleaning Taeyangs hand and wrapping it up, he then went over to Seungri and pulled him into a hug and whispered "stay strong". He stood up again "you all should go to Jiyong and stay with him help him heal, I need to tell the police what you told me" Taeyang stood up and held Daesung up steadily "Hyung.. could you drive, and also can i come with you to the police station... and im sure Seunghyun would want and probably needs to come". YG nodded and drive them all to Seunghyuns house. 

Once onside the apartment YG walked straight up to Jiyong and knelt next to his sleeping form, it hurt him to see a kid hes always respected and loved in so mych pain, he stroked Jiyong cheek like a father would with his sick son and stood up "I promise to put that man away for life" he swore and stepped away letting Seungri and Daesung finally see Jiyong after hearing the news. Seunghyun leant against the doorway and watched Jiyongs sleeping face until YG walked up with him "we need to go to the police station now before he can feed them more lies" Seunghyun nodded and Taeyang told Daesung and Seungri to look after Jiyong before fluffing their hair for comfort and leaving following the two other men.


	12. All for Jiyong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~

~jiyongs pov~

Jiyong slowly woke up, the first thing he felt was a hand stroking his hair, the second thing was a strong grip on his own hand and the third was the feeling of his stomach sending bolts of pain through his body. His eyes opened and he let out a groan. 

"Jiyong!!" Seungris hopeful voice filled Jiyongs ears and he looked over to the panda smiling at his face of worry. "Dont look like im dying pabo" seungri smiled and Jiyong sat up and looked down at the hand holding his and followed it to see Deasungs head resting on the couch and soft snores coming from his mouth. "How long have you two been here?...wheres everyone else?" Jiyong looked around the room. "We've been here for two hours about... the others went to the police station" Jiyong looked at Seungri in shock then acceptance "that's good i guess.." Seungri moved onto the couch next to him and hugged him stiring Daesung who looked up groggily before jumping up and cuddling Jiyong softly to not hurt him. "Why are you unsure of them telling?" Seungri suddenly asked drawing nervous circles on Jiyongs palm. "I...I just for some reason felt like maybe it was over.. but i relised that i have to see that man again... and that i will be treated like glass and that our image will never be the same... this trial... it could be the end of us... the end of bigbang" 

Daesung hugged Jiyong tighter and a tear fell from Seungris eye "never say that Jiyong... please" daesung nodded and made Jiyong face him "this trial will be good that monster will go to jail and so what if it ruins our image we're the kings we wont fall because of that and if we do who gives a shit as long as youre happy and safe... Jiyong you need to relise your health matters more to us than our career" It was then Jiyongs turn to burst into tears, noone ever told him that he should worry about his health over his job the thought was so foreign...yet it put Jiyong at ease. Jiyongs stomach lurched again and he gasped softly in pain clutching it. He looked to Seungri and Daesung and put on a fake smile "thankyou so much you two, i truly love you both... but im feeling a little gross god knows how long its been since iv showered so if you dont mind i might go spend a few hours in the bathroom freshening up" daesung and seungri smiled widely nodding "treat yourself hyung".

Jiyong slid down the door once he locked himself in the bathroom he clutched his stomach and tears rolled down his face it hurt so much. He felt like he had a brick in his stomach and needed to get it out. He remembered back to this morning and grimaced at how much he ate at breakfast why did Seunghyun have to care about him so much. He stood up and looked in the mirror, no matter all the love he was getting he hust couldnt see himself positively in the mirror, his own reflection still discusted him, all those years of abusive words never left his mind.

"Fat failure"

"Worthless"

"Good for nothing"

"Never be loved" "they're only pretending"

"You're nothing more than my toy"

"You're useless without me"

"Just kill yourself already"

Jiyong cried and clutched his stomach swaying over to the toilet but not before turning the tap on, he knew how to get rid of the brick in his stomach. He also knew he shouldnt do it. But the pain was to much. He leaned over the toilet and stuck fingers down his throat feeling relief when the food came out. When he fluched the toilet he felt so much better, the brick was gone and he could breath again. He wished that the love from his band members, from Seunghyun, would be enough to help him out of the prison of his mind. But he knew that it wouldnt, no matter what the fairytales said love doesnt fix everything, love doesnt fix Jiyong. He needed help and closure.

He hopped into the shower leaving it at the highest temperature sighing in relief as his wounds opened from the harsh temperature and red mixed with the shower water. These small moments of release made him feel alive, he wondered what it would be like to shower with Seunghyun to feel his warmth and care as he gets the shower temperature just right and helped Jiyong clean his wounds and nurse him before cuddling him to sleep in bed. With this Joyong smiled, his love may not be enough to fully heal Jiyong but it was enough to significantly help him.

Once he came out Seungri and Daesung had turned on the news and was watching it intently. Jiyong went over to the couch and sat down next to Daesung and looked at the screen shocked to see Seunghyuns face and a policemans. "Earlier today Choi Seunghyun, Youngbae and Mr. YG went into the police station to file a report against their managers words.. police are now researching both cases and trying to fiqure out which is the truth, lawyers are being hired on both sides and a court trial will be held in a few weeks time" the screen switched back to the police officer and Seunghyun who bowed to the camera "im sorry for the shock our vips are currently enduring... yes i was the one who hospitalised manager, but managers reasoning is incorrect.... i found out fairly recently that he had been abusing my Jiyong for over two years and i have proof of these horrible acts... i cant tell you anything else but i know you vips know whos telling the truth here.. i will fight for Jiyongs cause and i will protect him and save him from the hardships hes endured"

Daesung looked over to Jiyong whos hands were clenched and tears were pouring down his face "everything is so messed up" Daesung looped an arm around Jiyongs neck "theres no way that we're going to lose this case" Seungri nodded and Jiyong half smiled he was so thankful for having such caring band members.

Jiyong looked back to the tv curious as to why the news report was still going "and in further news on the investigation, since the policemen have yet to find Jiyong and get his point of view. The manager will be under hospital lockdown and Seunghyun has been placed into holding until police can confirm the major suspect" Jiyong shot up into standing and frantically looked around his breathing getting rapid "no!!! They cant do that Seunghyun cant be there!!!! Hes innocent!!! He wont be comfortable he doesnt have his favourite blanket!!!" Jiyong ran to the counter "wheres my keys im going to the police station now!!" Seungri jumped up and went over to Jiyong "calm down its alright by! !!" Jiyong shook his head in disagreement and continued to search suddenly getting a wave of dizzyness "i must... save.. him" Jiyong blacked out and fell to the ground. The last thing he heard was Seungri and Daesung yelling his name.

~seunghyuns pov~

Damn policemen putting me in such a place!!.. oh well.. he sighed and sat down on the floor if this is what he had to endure to save Jiyong then so be it. He just hoped Jiyong hadnt found out because he would freak out. Seunghyun stared at the dull grey wall and thought about Jiyongs beautiful smile and laugh and imagined the days that will come when they come back and Jiyong was himself again. They would announce to the world their relationship and move away to some small, amazing beautiful island and live together and grow old together maybe even adopt some children. Seunghyun loved his career, loved his fans but Jiyong came first and he would give it all up to live with Jiyong happily forever to always be by his side. Who cares if he had to spend a few nights in a cell it was all for Jiyong.


	13. Shattered

~Jiyongs pov~

His head was spinning.                                                                             
His eyes refused to open more than a sliver he only saw darkness. He heard voices but they were so far away.  
"Jiyong" "wake up please" "help him" Jiyong groaned in annoyance his head was pounding against his skull. 

His vision cleared and he saw the roof of Seunghyuns apartment and the worried faces of Daesung and Seungri. His eyes closed again.

His eyes opened again and he flinched away from the pressure constricting his arm. The ground under him was moving. He heard a engine, the voices of people he didn't know, and ones he did called his name. Something stuck like a splinter in his arm making it feel warm and tingly. Blackness.

The next time he awoke he heard beeping, little clothing covered his vulnerable body. Self consciously and out of habit he pulled the blanket up to cover his entire body and arms and cheek were he knew a colourful bruise was in full bloom. Wires constricted his movement. He flinched when a hand touched his thigh softly, he looked up and saw managers face and squirmed his leg away from the hand "not now master.. I'm injured they'll find out if you hurt me now.. we agreed you wouldn't hurt me enough to affect work". His bead lolled to the side and he stared at the wall smirking slightly when the hand left his thigh. His hearing was filled with a loud shrill bell-like sound, he could have sworn he heard a hurt sob.

He felt his eyelids drooping again. Slowly blackness came back consuming his mind. Before he fell asleep he muttered a message to manager "just a few more days then you can use me again.. hold on till then don't hurt Seungri or Seunghyun or any of them they're too strong for you". He fell into a deep sleep nightmares plaguing his mind.

~Seungris and daesungs pov~

His hand shot away from Jiyongs leg like it was electric. He gasped and tears brimed his eyes. He backed away at Jiyongs words "not now master.. im injured they'll find out if you hurt me now.. we agreed you wouldn't hurt me enough to affect work". Daesung walked up to Jiyong careful not to touch him "Jiyong.. hyung? Its us" he said loudly. Jiyong just stared at the wall his eyes distant, he was caught in his own little world. Daesung heard a sob and a thud as Seungri collapsed to the floor tears streaming down his face and his hands balled on the ground "he.. he thinks we're that monster.. he's been protecting us.. me..he doesn't.. he's not with us.. we ca..cant of lo..lost him" seungri yelled and punched the floor breaking down. Daesung saw Jiyongs body slacken and a tear fell down his own face.

He collapsed to the ground pulling Seungri into his lap rocking him back and forth. "We'll get him back, i promise" he kissed Seungri's forehead then his cheeks and chin smiling when Seungri looked at him. "That smile is fake" Seungri mumbled and Daesung grabbed Seungri's face with his hands slightly smushing his cheeks. "Panda.. look at me" Seungri looked up his large eyes glistening with tears "we have to stay strong.. even if we have to fake smiles, we have to do it for Jiyong thats the only way he'll get better.. he started this because of us, he'll end it because of us we will all help him heal" Seungri nodded and shoved his face into Daesungs neck balling his fists in Daesungs shirt "I love you" he whimpered and Daesung kissed his head and hugged him close in response.

Daesung fished his phone out of his pocket still cradling a now sleeping Seungri. He texted Taeyang telling them they were now at the hospital. The doctor walked in just as Daesung placed down his phone and smiled kindly at the couple talking quietly to not wake Seungri "when I checked him last all his injuries are fine.. as he woken up at all?" Daesung nodded and the doctor looked over. "With cases like this it's not always guarantee how long it takes them to wake up but from my assessment it shouldn't be long for him. Even though he's severally malnourished and injured, he actually has a partially broken wrist which is why i bandaged it tighter. But physically he'll be fine.. I'm not sure about mentally but we'll deal with that when he awakes" Daesung nodded "thank you doctor".

The doctor walked to the corner of the room and picked up a blanket from the chair and walked over wrapping it over daesungs shoulders and around Seungri. "Make sure you two look after yourselves as well neh?" Daesung nodded and smiled softly. The doctor ruffled his hair and walked over to Jiyongs bed giving him a overall check before leaving. Soon after Taeyang walked through the door and walked over to Jiyong muttering a hi to Daesung and sat down on the chair immediately holding Jiyongs hand "we will make everything fine again i promise.. please wake up soon I love you Ji.. Seunghyun loves you to, wake up so you can go see him" Taeyang's head lolled and he rested it on the bed falling immediately to sleep the exhaustion finally catching up to him.

~Jiyongs pov~ 

Jiyong groaned as he opened his eyes, his head still pounding but he was used to it he couldn't remember the last time he didn't have a headache. He looked blurrily around the room finally acknowledging who was in the room noticing also that the sun had fallen from the sky. he smiled realising manager wasn't there he looked down at the head on his bed. His fingers shifted through the soft brown locks of his best friend he smiled at the sleeping couple in the corner curled in each others arms he wondered if they were together already.

Despite his smile a tear fell down his face he looked at the rooms window which showcased the hallway and noticed a policeman on guard next to his door. He was once again in the same building as manager, he felt disgusted in himself. He was comfortable, his wounds no longer hurt, he had no knew ones, no infections, his head was slowly feeling better. More tears fell down his face in frustration. He deserved pain, if he wasn't hurt then the others would be hurt. He shook his head trying to rid himself from poisonous thoughts, but he strangely felt empty he felt incomplete. He lifted his hand unconsciously and started to scratch at the skin in the center of his arm sighing happily at the burning sensation. His nails slightly tore the surface of the skin and he smiled at the small pricks of blood that surfaced.

Feeling satisfied after scratching his skin red raw and bleeding he stopped and stuck his arm under the blankets. His eyes closed and the hand with red now under the nails went back up to play with Taeyang's hair and he slowly fell asleep again.

~Taeyangs pov~

Taeyang woke up when sunlight hit his face. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and went to lift his head feeling a weight resting on his hair. He sat up watching Jiyongs hand slip from his head and land on the bed Taeyang instantly intertwined their hands and sadly looked at the bandaged one which was now covered in the blanket. He leaned up and kissed Jiyongs forehead whispering "when did you wake up Ji, you should of awoken me.. oh well next time neh, i miss you" he smiled and watched the man sleep suddenly remembering their childhood together. He laughed dryly thinking about how happy and innocent they had been back then chasing their dreams and living life with no worries how did they even get here.

He felt his phone buzz and looked down to see YGs name flashing on the screen he read the text 'I know Jiyongs at the hospital and you boys would like to look after him and be there.. but we really need to talk, all together we need a plan to help Jiyong.. lets meet at the station so Seunghyun can be included?' Taeyang sat up he really didnt want to leave Jiyong, he didnt want to leave him alone. Didnt want him to wake up to unfamiliar faces. He let go of Jiyongs hand and walked over to the corner of the room nudging the two sleeping. Seungri looked up yawning "did he wake?" Taeyang shook his head "i think he did last night.. but at the moment he's far gone" Seungri nodded and rolled out of Daesungs arms effectively waking the other.

"Hyung wants us to have a meeting.. but i dont want to leave Jiyong" Daesung got up stretching his stiff back and walked to Jiyong brushing his hair out of his face. "We do have to have a meeting.. but what if he freaks out again?" Seungri nodded. Seungri looked down at Jiyong thinking hard "maybe we can have someone else Jiyong trusts to look after him for a while?" Taeyang remembered back to when he first found out about Jiyongs condition "wait.. why dont we ask Chaelin?" Daesung nodded "perfect those two are very close friends.. but we would have to tell her.." Seungri stepped forwards "we'll just have to take the risk". Taeyang flipped the phone around in his hands for a while before making the decision to call her.

"Chaelin?... yeh hello... im alright.. look I have something important.. yes it is about the news reports.. to be honest no, but we will make everything fine again... I have a request.. can you come to the hospital?... thankyou youre the best... no not him, ca you come for Jiyong... yes he was admitted yesterday and Seunghyun is in jail... thankyou its room 26b.. seeya" he hung up wiping his face with his hand. "Shes coming" Seungri nodded sitting down playing with Jiyongs hand absentmindly not bothering to look at it. 

A few minuted later a disheveled Chaelin appeared at the door running over to Jiyong "OPPA, you poor thing you don't deserve this" she nudged Seungri softly to get of the chair and sat down herself and grabbed Jiyongs hand "Look im not sure what happened but judging by the news its serious and I trust you guys you dont have to tell me now but make sure you help him.. please" Chaelins eyes glistened from tears and the three men nodded thanking her and giving her hugs. They all said good bye to Jiyong and reluctantly left the room promising to not be too long. 

Chaelin looked down at Jiyongs hand frowning "oh oppa.. why do you have blood under your fingernails.." she leaned down kissing his hand and grabbing makeup wipes from her bag carefully cleaning his dirty nails. The doctor came back in nodding in acknowledge to Chaelin before checking Jiyong again. He frowned and pulled the blanket of Jiyongs arm sighing unhappily at the red slightly raised skin with fingernail marks scaring the white skin. Chaelin gasped and looked away sobbing slightly. The doctor shook his head "dont make this a habit Jiyong.." he muttered before updating the clipboard hanging of the end of Jiyongs bed and leaving reminding Chaelin to press the nurse button if Jiyong wakes up.

~managers pov~

He groaned as he woke up again. Damn ungrateful kids putting their hardworking manager in so much pain, just cause Jiyong was so weak. He laughed maniacly quietly to himself, his game got slightly more complicated and because of that his toy was going to pay. He looked out his window and tilted his head as he saw Seungri, Daesung and Taeyang walked past his room he strained his ears and heard part of their conversation "...st don't want to leave him alone like that" Taeynag whimpered and Daesung grabbed his hand reassuringly "we'll only be gone for a li.." manager smirked as they walked out of ear shot. His toy was going to be easier to access than he thought.

He looked at his arm carefully pulling out the iv and the pulse detectors swinging his legs over the side of the bed standing up and stretching he still hurt and the bandages around his head and arms were scratching but the evil smirk never left his face. He sat in the chair pretending to read he knew the guards were scheduled to switch and then he would beable to escape. All he needed was pillows.

As the clock showed 9 the guard looked into the room seeing the manager fast asleep on the bed and walked of down the hall to switch with the next police officer. Manager used that time to jump out of bed grabbing pillows and shoving them under the blankets and stuck the wires into them. Satisfied with his work he slipped out of the room and walked fast down the hallway hiding slightly when the policeman walked past him. Looking back he saw the policeman peek into the room and nod satisfied before standing on guard next to the door. 

He continued his journey down the hallway and saw another guard standing at a door and deduced that it was Jiyongs room. He hid behind the corner thinking what to do. He scowled when his sore head came up with nothing. He suddenly heard the door open and his head shot around he saw Chaelin stretch as she walked out fo the door and smile at the policeman who smiled "he awake yet?" Chaelin shook her head sadly "the poor thing he didnt deserve this" the policeman nodded "noone does" "whos story do you believe?" she suddenly asked catching the guard by surprise "to be honest... I believe Seunghyun" Chaelin nodded and smiled "good.. um youve been here for a while do you want coffee?" He nodded happily and she turned the opposite way and went to get them. The guard suddenly ran after her and grabbed her shoulder softlt she turned around "yeh?", "uh.. i wanted to say thankyou for the coffee and evn though im not a high ranking officer i will try to help Jiyong and Seunghyun the best i can" Chaelin smiled and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek "thankyou oppa" she smiled and walked away the guard blushed and walked back to his post. Neither of them noticed the man who slipped into the room when theur backs were turned and locked the door with a chair and closed the curtain.

Manager almost skipped over to Jiyong smiling at the weak parhetic body laying infront of him. He noticed the red inflamation on his arm and tutted "silly boy only im allowed to cause you pain youre not allowed that control" he ran his finger down Jiyongs cheek and smiled evilly "so vulnerable". He whipped of the blanket smirking at the bruised, translucent and scared skin his eyes were met with. His hand ran up Jiyongs chest applying pressure where he knew Jiyong was injured loving the way Jiyongs sleeping face scrunched up in pain and he let out whimpers. 

Manager soon got bored and punched Jiyongs stomach right where the cut was pulling apart the stitching and making it bleed through the hospital gown. Jiyongs eyes widened and he was about to let out a scream but managers hand clamped around his neck with enough force that Jiyong couldnt breath. He choked and tears slid down his face. Manager leaned close whispering into Jiyongs ear "if you make a noise i will jump out that window there and hunt down your precious band and kill them all slowly and painfully.. look they arnt even here to look after you, i heard them talking they dont care theyre sick of you you ruined their reputation, their jobs are over.. they hate you especially Seunghyun who's forever going to be staying in that cell" Jiyongs face went blue and manager let go of his neck leaving Jiyong coughing and gasping for air tears staining his broken face. 

He didnt want to but he believed every word that man uttered. He kept his mouth shut. "Thats my boy... now shall we have some fun iv been very very bored lately" manager looked down god hes pathetic he thought. He held up his own arm "you see this bandage this is your fault" he grabbed the iv and pulled it from Jiyongs arm harshly. Jiyong suppressed a scream and closed his eyes in pain. Manager then lifted up Jiyongs injured arm "see this you did it.. thats not ok only your master is allowed to hurt you" Jiyong nodded and gasped in pain as managed pulled him from the bed dropping him on the floor. 

Manager kneeled down next to the man curling in on himself and holding his torn belly "so ugly" he scoffed and grabbed Jiyongs face pulling him up and slamming him against the wall his hand digging slightly into Jiyongs wound. In pain reflex Jiyong lurged forwards wrapping his arms around managers neck and shoving his face into the monsters chest sobbing. "Please.. master it.. it hurts" manager stopped pressing and walked forwards trapping Jiyong body between his and the wall smirking when the broken man clung onto him more. He stroked Jiyongs cheek again "so sad our game is almost over, i had fun with you" Jiyongs eyes widened in hope was manager finally going to free him was Jiyong finally perfect enough to lead a happy life. He froze as managers face came close to his and his breath once again tickled his neck "its time my pet... its time that i released you" Jiyongs eyes closed in relief was this the end finally?

"Im sad that its over but my boy, I think now is the best time to kill you.. maybe its also my time" Jiyongs head whipped back hitting the wall with cracking force, tears fell down his face " no.. no its not time please.. im... im not ready .  They care about me... i cant leave them... please" he whimpered between sobs and manager chuckled kissing Jiyong on the lips making the boy cry harder "iv told you tirelessly, they dont care, you'll be doing everyone a favour.. you're my possession my dear boy i can do what i want to you" he kissed Jiyong again refusing him any chance to resist the affection when he pulled back Jiyong sobbed his soul harshly breaking. He noticed the sadness in his managers eyes and looked down clinging tighter onto the psychopath, even though the man repulsed him the warmth and structure was keeping him from falling completely. Managers hand touched his belly wiping up some of the blood and his hand went to the wall and wrote 'mine' in english. Jiyong sobbed as he watched and felt all his strength leave.

Jiyong suddenly saw Seunghyun in his head and he suddenly screamed "NO" he then heard frantic banging against the door and was that Chaelin calling for him. "THEY CARE ABOUT ME I REFUSE I REFUSE YOUR CONTROL" Jiyong pushed manager of him harshly kicking his leg where he saw a bandage and manager fell to the floor in pain. Jiyong ran to his bed frantically looked for something.. anything. He ran over to the screen that was supposed to display his heartbeat and screamed punching the screen hard seeing it crack, he punched it again and saw the whole thing splinter he punched it once more and the whole screen fell to pieces and shattered all over the floor. He picked up a shard of glass in his now bleeding hand and walked threateningly over to his manager who was backing away from him intimidated by the dark look in Jiyongs eyes and the frantic smile plastered on his face.

Jiyongs vision went black. He vaguely heard the door being bashed and Chaelins and a unknown mans frantic voices. He felt his hand plunge into his managers stomach and the scream of pain and the glass sliced into his belly. Jiyong drew back his hand and plunged it in again. His vision started to clear and he saw the blood. All the blood he saw the door slam open the chair snapping and falling across the floor. He heard the screams. He saw the horrified faces of the girl he sees as a sister and the nice man who protected him. He stepped away manager falling to the floor. The glass fell from Jiyongs hand and he looked down horrified at his hands "wha..what have i do..done" he sobbed out falling to the ground and pulling harshly at his hair, hyperventilating he gasped for air.


	14. I'm not ok

YG leaned back in the chair the police had kindly place in Seunghyuns cell for him. The rest sat either on the bed or on the floor they all sighed. They were exhausted, YG ran his hand through his hair "well at least we're all on the same page" he smiled. They had been talking for over an hour and gathered all their evidence and decided that no matter how much they wanted that basterd manager in jail they would put Jiyong before that make sure hes better before filing a court order against the manager.

Everyone looked up to the sound of jingling and the cell door being opened by the cheif policeman. He leaned against the open door and gestured with his hand for everyone to get out. Everyone stood up and stretched leaving the cell apart from Seunghyun who stayed on the bed.

The policeman looked up "you too Seunghyun". Seunghyuns head shot up "what!?", "youre free to go, our case against you has been dropped". Daesung jumped up "finally!!..Seunghyun? Whats wrong?" He looked over confused to the tall man who was staring at the floor and not moving. He looked up staring at the policeman "why has my case been dropped... what happened?.. did something happen to Jiyong?" His voice was small and quiet and everyone gasped in realisation and looked at the policeman who hung his head.

"You're a smart man.. yes something very big did happen.. he attacked Jiyong in the hospital, it was very violent and... you boys should go to the hospital the poor kid needs family" Seunghyun jumped up and stormed off without waiting for the others or saying a thing. Seungri saw the tear fall from Seunghyuns eyes and Daesung clung onto him "we shouldn't have left him" he whispered anger boiling in his blood. Taeyang walked over and hugged the two youngest "its not our faults lets go and make sure hes ok neh?". Seungri and Daesung nodded both harshly trying to wipe away their tears.

By the time they reached the entrance of the police station Seunghyun was nowhere to be seen probably halfway to the hospital in a taxi already. YG sighed and unlocked his care ushering the others in and driving silently to the hospital. The pit in everyones stomach was growing. Anticipation clawing away at their hearts. They were all scared of what they would see, what they would find out at the hospital.

By the time they reached the hospital they entered the waiting room to see a couple of policemen talking to a doctor, Jiyongs doctor and a very angry, impatient Seunghyun yelling at a nurse to let him through "I NEED TO SEE HIM!!!" he yelled out in frustration tears streaming down, "im so sorry mr Choi but I just cant" Seunghyun walked straight up to the poor girl "why the fuck not!!!" He said threateningly making her shrink backwards. Taeyang ran up to him and grabbed his arm tugging it "Seunghyun calm down!!" Seunghyun growled and ripped his arm out of Taeyang's grip death staring the floor.

YG walked up to the two and patted Seunghyuns shoulder "let me" he walked up to the nurse "im so sorry about him miss.. hes just worried and stressed" she smiled knowingly "i know... what happened it was horrible.. just wait for a bit they're operating on him at the moment... you guys can go wait in a private room if you want" she said staring behind YG. YG looked around to see Seungri and Daesung cornered by two reporters and a bunch more trying to get past police and nurses to get photos and answers "that would be greatly appreciated" YG sighed.

After YG managed to pull Seungri and Daesung away from the reporters they all piled into a unoccupied room and sat down. The only sound was Seunghyuns muffled sobs as he cried into Taeyangs chest. An hour past and still noone muttered a word. They all felt as heavy as lead, they felt empty inside and worry was draining their energy. Finally a doctor entered rubbing his hands together spreading sanitiser allover his fingers. Bags weighed down his eyes but he smiled "Jiyong is in a stable... well a physically stable state.. you can go see him now im sorry for the wait.. we moved him to a different room.. his old one is too messy and is now a crime scene". They all thanked the doctor and walked, half ran down the corridor to Jiyongs room.

Seunghyuns hand paused on the door knob and he breathed heavily trying to regain some of his own sanity before seeing the broken man in the room. Taeyang placed his hand on Seunghyuns back giving him enough strength to open the door. On the bed Jiyong lay like a young, broken child. He looked so skinny, wires stuck into his skin everywhere, his skin was so pale it was almost translucent, his face looked tired and worn and much of his arms were bandaged. Seunghyun cringed at the thought of what he would look like under that blanket, under the hospital gown. 

Suddenly the door burst open and Chaelin ran in tears running down her face, her hair messed up and clothing disheveled. "Jiyong.. please..omg..ji..im so... sorry" she sobbed and fell to the ground. Taeyang ran over and scooped her into his arms hugging her crying form "Chaelin whats wrong.. are you ok? Where have you been?" Chaelin wiped at her tears messily "i.. i had to give a st..statement to the police.. and..and i saw it.. i saw what happened it was horrible.. oppa it was so horrible" she shovsd her face into Taeyangs chest and hiccuped between sobs.

Seungri turned and faced the wall unable to handle the horrible emotions in the room it was too much. Daesung hand tightened around Seungris "wheres manager?". Chaelin looked up her bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open "he's.. he's a floor above.. in heavy security and in the emergency room... he might not survive" Daesungs eyes widened "wha..what happened?" Chaelin rested her forehead on Taeyangs shoulder "He attacked Jiyong when i left the room.. he reopened his wounds, from the bruising im guessing he also choked him... but when i walked in Jiyong was covered in blood.. not only his but managers too his hand was plunged into managers stomach with a piece of glass" everyone gasped.

Seunghyun growled from his place next to Jiyong "i hope he's dead" suddenly Jiyongs hand tightened slightly around Seunghyuns "i hope hes not" Seunghyuns head whipped around. "Baby.. youre awake how are you.. i love you" he said in a soft voice. Jiyong smiled "im not ok but im sure you know that... i love you too.."   
Seunghyun looked down "how can you wish him to still be alive after everything he deserves to die" Jiyong chuckled and shook his head coughing softly. "He doesnt deserve to die thats too easy he deserves pain.. he deserves to live with the injuries i gave him... he deserves to live a long, long life suffering in jail". Everyone gasped and Jiyong smiled having used the last of his energy and fell back asleep.

Taeyang picked up Chaelin "I need to take her home" he nodded at hee sleeping form "she needs to rest" everyone nodded silence engulfing the room again as Taeyang left. Seunghyun rested his forhead on Jiyongs hand and hummed softly promising to protect him. Seungri and Daesung wiped at eachothers tears. A policeman showed up at the door but Seungri and Daesung quickly shooed him away saying they would answer questions later and she nodded. "I hope he doesnt survive.. it would just make everythi g so much easier" Daesung muttered Seungri nodding in agreement "soon baby.. soon everything will be fine" they sat on the floor once again falling asleep in eachothers arms in Jiyongs hospital room.


	15. Discharged

*a week later*

Jiyong leant against the frame of the hospital window lookjng down on the crowd below him. He smiled softly as he read their signs wishing him good health. He was surprised people still supported him after everything he put everyone through. He felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his face and he leaned backwards into the warmth.

"They've been there since you were admitted.." Seunghyun stated and Jiyong nodded "I know... i was about to thank them" he held up his phone and showed Seunghyun the selfie he took with the crowd showing through the window.

Jiyong opened up his instagram and posted the photo along with thanks and reassurance that he was fine. He squirmed out of Seunghyuns grip and sat down on the chair situated next to the window his forehead leaning against the cold glass. His eyes glanced around the hospital room. 

It was a mess of pages and lost pencils. Boredom had racked his brain the past few days so he resorted to his favourite passtime- writing music. Seunghyun sighed leaning against the wall. "Why are you ignoring it?" Jiyong feigned innocence looking up at him "ignoring what?" Seunghyun sighed and squatted down grabbing Jiyongs hands "exactly my point... he woke up, Jiyong we need to do something...sometime"

Jiyong shook his head "you dont understand... its too hard" Seunghyuns thumb rubbed circles into his palms "but if we do it now itll be done... ill be there for you". Jiyong looked down he really loved Seunghyun "what if thats not enough" Jiyongs head turned towards the window. Seunghyun pushed down the hurt feeling and fell silent knowing thats what Jiyonh wanted.

Jiyong stroked the head that now rested in his lap. Seunghyun had fallen asleep. "Im sorry hyung... I just still cant grasp the concept that people actually love me... that they arnt disgusted" he sighed.

The door opened loudly and Jiyong raised his finger to his lips telling the person to be quieter. Nodding down at Seunghyun, Taeyang nodded and quietly walked over to Jiyong grabbing his hand and ruffling his hair. "We have all the evidence... the police say that theres no way that he wont be convicted for the crimes!!" Jiyong nodded and smiled slightly "however?" Taeyang shook his head Jiyong always knew when there was more "the police need you to give a statement... to make it official"

Jiyong sighed and looked down at Seunghyun "... ok" Taeyang made a little excitement noise "thankyou!!!". Jiyong looked back up at him "why are you helping so much?" Taeyang shook his head smiling "its cause i love you pabo!!!" Jiyong let one of his rare smiles grace his face and watched as Taeyang gleefully skipped out before pausing at the door and looking back "smile more it suits you". With that he left making the smile etch higher on Jiyongs face.

Jiyong sighed he would be leaving this place tommorow. He would have to once again face the real world. He was expected to return to the music scene. He really wanted to, but he was afraid. He was afraid of when Seunghyun would have to leave him to enlist, how he would deal with the haters who still tore him down. He shook his head returning to the present, he enjoyed the moment watching through his special window.

The next day Jiyong watched as Seunghyun collected the little possessions Jiyong had with him and lead him out of the hospital. He bowed at all the nurses, doctors and policemen that had helped him. He hid behind the policeman as they escorted him through the thousands of cameras and the reaching hands of fans. Jiyong smiled when he could and carefully touched the hands reaching for him. But it was always overwhelming.

Once he got in the car he slouched and curled up on himself watching the scenery pass by Seunghyuns car. Seunghyun helped him out of the car and Jiyong made his way to the elevtator puffing from the energy needed. Damn he was weak. He stumbled into Seunghyuns apartment collapsing on the couch from exhaustion.

"You should have a shower" Seunghyun hummed, Jiyong nodded still breathing heavily. Seunghyun engulfed him in a hug and whispered in his ear "did you need any help" Jiyong shook his head he still didnt want Seunghyun to see his gross body.

He stepped into the bathroom locking the door. He took a deep breath and turned around staring into the mirror. He hardly recognised himself, his cheeks caved in, bags hung under his eyes, his clothing hung loosely off his frame, his hair a dry brittle mess. He gulped and pulled of his shirt wincing slightly at the pain he still felt from his belly cut. He stared at his bare chest tracing the ribs which protruded greatly from his chest, the collarbones and hip bones which were shown in great detail and all the ugly scars covering discoloured skin. 

Jiyong scoffed "how is this monster still an idol". He sighed pulling of the rest of his clothing and stepped into the warm shower savering the feeling of water running down his ruined body. His mind flasged back to a few days earlier and his talk with Seungri:

"Hyung?" Jiyong looked over to the man sitting awkwardly in his chair "I... I was wondering why you look down so much on yourself?" Jiyong sighed running his hand through his hair "im a burden, i shouldnt of been born, im a ugly monster and im weak noone deserves to live with someone as broken as me" Seungri whimpered as a tear fell down his face "when will you relise Jiyong.. how great, brave, beautiful and kind you are its a gift to have you in our lives... one day i hope youll love yourself as much as everyone around you does"

Jiyongs hand rested itself on his belly and his forehead leant against the shower wall he closed his eyes. "I will try Seungri... i will try to fix myself... be the Jiyong you all fell in love with" his mind flasged back again but this time to manager. "I will beat him i promise... he wint control me anymore... ill put my statement in tommorow get hin the punishment he deserves"

With that Jiyong turned of the shower, got dressed and walked out ready for the first time to eat a full meal. To be happy in the arms of the man he loved. He would live peacefully till tommorow when the serious things would go down most likely with his semi-stable mental status.


	16. You're so Beautiful

Jiyong clung to Seunghyuns arm as they walked into the police station, his gaze nervously studied the floor. In his peripheral vision he saw the police on duty give him sympathetic gazes. He uncomfortably closed his eyes slighlty.

The whole world was right behind them, watching their every moves. They knew what Jiyong went through. The paparazzi were everywhere. His fans mourned over his suffering trending #staystrongjiyong across all social media sites. Jiyong just wanted this to be over he was tired of it he wanted to work again, he wanted to have some alone time without everyone else freaking out about his absense.. he wanted to perform again.

He sighed and finally looked up when Seunghyun finished talking to the policeman sitting behind the front desk. Jiyong let go of Seunghyuns arms and started walking towards the hallway after his escort. He sighed when he felt Seunghyun following him. He turned around "Hyunie... i want.. i need to do this alone. Ill be fine i promise." Seunghyun bowed his head slightly lost but nodded anyway. Jiyong smiled and walked up to him looping his arms around his shoulders and pulling the taller man closer "i love you"

He kissed Seunghyuns cheek not caring that there were people watching and pulled away following the policeman down the hall. Seunghyun watched after and tilted his head "hyunie.. thats new" he laughed nervously and ruffled his hair he hoped that Jiyong would be ok.

Around two hours later a sniffling Jiyong walked back down the hallway and straight into Seunghyuns arms shoving his tear soaked face into the broad chest. He hickuped as he tried to contain the noise of his sobs and Seunghyun hugged him tighter. The investigator soon followed after running his hand through his hair and breathing heavily. Seunghyun watched as he leant against the table in exhaustion and a distraught look covered his somewhat handsome face.

Seunghyun nodded and mouthed a thankyou to the investigator when he looked up. He waved nonchalantly at the thanks and shook his head "no problem... just... look after that kid, i cant even begin to image the pain he went through" Seunghyun nodded and watched as he walked into another room to file the report.

Seunghyun looked down to the still sniffling man in his arm and leant down kissing the top of his head. He weaved his fingers between Jiyongs chin and his own chest and lifted Jiyongs face up to his own. "How about we go someplace quiet and secluded for a while?" Jiyong cutely nodded and Seunghyun smiled softly leading him to their car.

A while after Jiyong was falling asleep his head drooping down towards his chest. Seunghyun finally parked the car and walked around opening Jiyongs door poking the half asleep man. "Comeone you have plenty of time to do that later right now come with me" Jiyong smiled lazily and climbed out of the car instantly tangling his fingers with Seunghyun.

Skinship has once again become a comfort for Jiyong. He remembers how the first part of his life he loved it, it made him feel loved, worthit and protected. But when he was managers pet he hated the very thought of it, he dint want people to touch someone so broken, so disgusting. He always flinched at any touch that was laid against him, feeling like it was burning his skin. But now it has become something which helps him cope with the pain, it relaxes him, he no longers feels alone. Its like he gains strength from anothers aura of love for him.

He smiled and walked silently with Seunghyun. There was grass under their feet and birds singing in trees, Jiyong could even hear the sound of water. He focused on the feeling of Seunghyuns strong, large hand clinging onto his like a lifeforce. He sighed in contentment and breathed in deeply the unisually fresh air surrounding him.

After a while Seunghyun stopped walking and sat Jiyong under a tree sitting down next to him instantly. Jiyong gasped they were atop a small hill so the view showed them a large proportion of the park and also a small stream trickling through various trees. The best part was it was completely secluded. Not another human soul in sight. Jiyong felt free, here he had no past, no future, no worries he just lived in the present.

"Beautiful isnt it?" Seunghyun softly mummbled leaning back against the tree and looping his arm around Jiyongs shoulders. Jiyong leaned into the warmth and nodded "how did you find this place?" Seunghyun chuckled the vibrations running through Jiyongs shoulder and throughout his body warming him up inside.

"I found this place ages ago... when I had my phase of creative block and when i left for a few days" Jiyong remembered that clearly, he was so lonely without his best friend but new Seunghyun needed alone time to sirt through his thoughts and regain the happiness that defined him. "I was just walking, nowhere in particular and i happened to come across this place after getting lost... I started coming here regularly just to get away from life, i always enjoyed it and always came back feeling 100% again and every time I told myself i woukd bring you here but i never did"

Jiyong didnt ask why it was obvious, thus was Seunghyuns special place, his own sanctuary. One to leave life for a few hours. "So why now?" Jiyong mumbled in Seunghyuns chest as he twisted his body to cuddle further into his lovers side. "I relised long ago that i would allow myself to be selfish.. i decided that I would show you this place when you needed it the most... and when i finally told you how i felt for you"

Jiyong smiled "thankyou". Seunghyun tilted his head leaning his cheek against the soft locks atop Jiyongs inhaling this scent. "Are we official?" He suddenly asked and Jiyong opened his eyes shocked before chuckling lightly "of course pabo, youre the best thing that could have possibly happened" Seunghyun gleefully smiled and grabbed Jiyongs cheeks rather forcefully and pulled Jiyongs face up to his attaching their lips. Their mouths moved in unison to one another and it sent sparks throughout both their bodies.

Seunghyun pulled away only to pepped kisses all over Jiyongs face moving from his lips to his nose ip to his forehead and down his cheeks then to his neck before resting it againts Jiyongs collarbones leaving butterfly kisses against the lower part of Jiyongs neck. "Youre so beautiful" he whispered and Jiyongs hand lifted up to tangle in Seunghyuns hair playing wirh every strand.

"I love you too... I really do" Jiyong smiled the most genuine smile that has decorated his face for at least 2 years. Seunghyun used both hands while playing with Jiyongs, "have you learnt to love yourself yet?" Jiyongs body stiffined and his breath caught for a second from the random question. He sighed and looked down at their hands. "Im trying Seunghyun im really trying.... i may not love myself at the moment but I feel happy, I feel content.. you know thats all i wanted, was to allow myself to feel loved again" Seunghyun smiled satisfied "im proud of you, youre the strongest person i ever met... will ever meet"

Jiyong laughed "we're rather sappy arnt we" Seunghyun shot up "and i wouldnt have it any other way" he crossed his arms and pouted causing Jiyong to burst out laughing and ruffled his hair after wiping the tears of happiness from his eyes. They spent the next few hours of daylight talking and playing games feelinh the same lightheart happiness they did when they were younger.

Jiyongs head started drooping again and Seunghyun smiled lovingly at him before bending down. "Hop on" Jiyong tilted his head "what?" Seunghyun smirked "get on my back dumbass" Jiyong ran up and jumped onto Seunghyuns back "KIDDYBACK RIDE!!"he screamed out like a little child. Seunghyun carried him while humming a peaceful tune, Jiyong was lulled to sleep and fell limp on Seunghyuns back who gripped his lovers thighs tighter to stop his falling back. He carefully strapped a sleeping Jiyong into the passenger seat and started driving back to his apartment listening to the steady breaths coming from next to him.

Seunghyun relaxed into the side of the bed not occupied by Jiyong and watched the adorable sleeping man. He smiled, he started sleeping with Jiyong to be close when Jiyong woke up from a horrible nightmare with a bloodcurdling scream and his body tembling with fear and sweat dripping down his forehead. Seunghyun was always there for him. But tonight Jiyong had no nightmares, the first night in many days, probably years and that warmed Seunghyuns heart. The broken man he loved was slowly but definately surely getting better.


	17. Court

Jiyong picked up the folder flipping it around in his hands. He looked over to Taeyang who shook his head "you don't have to look..." his hand slid across the table and grabbed Jiyongs arm. "I know Tae... it's just, i have to know.. its killing me" Taeyang nodded and his hand fell down and clasped Jiyongs.

Jiyong used his free hand to pull out the documents, looking up unsurely at the lawyer sitting on the opposite side who nodded. "Its all there" Jiyong breathed in heavily and looked down at the sheets.

He saw his statement followed by all the witness statements. He gasped at how many there were, a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He put the first sheet aside and stared down at the photos underneath. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes, he knew manager took some photos... but not this many. He looked weak, pathetic, broken, dead and plain ugly. He didnt want these going public. But he knew he had no choice.

Taeyangs grip on his hand tightened and Jiyong closed his eyes breathing in and out trying to calm himself. Only one tear managed to escape. Taeyang reached over and pushed the phtots back into the folder allowing Jiyong to calm down. 

"The rest is all news reports, reports of your injuries, of managers injuries. The reasons for them... dont worry the police filed it as self -defense. Jiyong everyone is on your side, theres no way you can lose... but we need to do the court case for closure..." Jiyong looked up at his lawyer and nodded tears pricking his eyes. His hands shook causing him to grab Taeyangs hand with both of his to keep himself grounded. 

"I...lets do it... i cant deal with this always dragging on" the lawyer nodded and collected the evidence bowing before leaving. Jiyong hiccuped and allowed himself to be pulled into Taeyangs warm chest as he sobbed. "You did good Ji" Jiyong nodded "thankyou" Taeyang ran his hand through Jiyongs hair "thats alright" Jiyong wriggled out of Taeyangs grip and grabbed his shoulders "no Tae... thankyou, for everything.. dont think I havent relised but youve been here the wole time. You gave up everything to help not only me but also Seunghyun... you keep us all grounded.. Seungri and Daesung too..  i know it must be hard.. but.. thankyou" 

Taeyang nodded holding back his tears "You're all my brothers.. Of course I would give up everything for you" Jiyong hugged Taeyang. His hand softly rubbing circles into the older mans back, exactly where he knew it would calm him. Its always been that one spot ever since they were children.

Taeyang jumped up. "Let me cook you something you must be hungry after all that!". Jiyong nodded and rested his head in his arms on the back of the couch watching Taeyang run arund the kitchen cooking god knows what.

Jiyong pulled out his phone and opened up a kpop news site reading all the latest news from fans. His thumb paused over a headline that read 'g-top is real!!??' He opened the tab sinking down into the couch. It topped with a picture of Seunghyun and Jiyong at the police station. Jiyong was wrapped in Seunghyuns arms and Jiyong was on his tippytoes kissing his cheek. 

Jiyong scrolled through the the article which piled much evidence such as when Seunghyun said"'my Jiyong" on the news report and various pictures of them hugging and holding hands. He shook his head "you cant get away with anything in the idol life can you?" Taeyang shook his head. "What are they saying now?" He asked while setting the two bowls of food down on the table.

"They figured out me and Seunghyun aee dating" Taeyang nodded "you need to decide whether youre keeping it under wraps or becomming official" Jiyongs eyes widened "NO.. i mean.. if we become official what little reputation bigbang has will be ruined... i..i cant bring us down anymore... the world will hate us... not only a dating scandal but also a homosexual dating scandal how will we ever overcome that". Jiyongs eyes scanned the comments which ranged from 'omg about time they got together!!' To 'dont make assumptions theyre having hard enough time' to 'eww if they are gay then i am no longer stanning them... how disgusting'.

Taeyang grabbed the phone from Jiyong and threw it into the recliner chair across the room. "Ive said it before and ill say it again.. fuk Bigbangs reputation... we are called kings because we have reached that point where no matter what we'll always have loyal fans. Look Jiyong we would all be much happier if youre happy and if that means coming out to the world.. then do it Ill always support you... it would also allow Daesung and Seungri to come out aswell" Jiyongs eyes widened "Daesung and Seungri?" Taeyang nodded and Jiyong smirked "I knew it!!!" 

They both chuckled and started eating. "Just think about it ok?" Taeyang looked expectantly at Jiyong who nodded. "Hey hyung remember the first time you tried to ask out a girl?" Jiyong laughed when Taeyang choked on his food "YAH YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER BRING THAT UP!!" 

They spent the evening reminicing and laughing and joking. Jiyong lay down on the couch satisfied all his problems forgotten as he curled into Taeyangs embrace who sang softly. Jiyong loved the sound of Taeyangs voice. It was so origional, so beautiful and soulful, it reminded Jiyong of happier childhood days, of his warm home and of his youthful, dreamful mind back when he was a child. It never failed to calm him

"Tae?" Taeyang hummed a response urging Jiyong to continue talking "youll keep that pinky promise right?" Taeyangs eyes opened ad he stared at Jiyongs brown ones "of course thats never changing.. forever" Jiyongs smiled remembering when they were young and both were in the trainee room. They sat together in the corner and stared at all the other trainees. Suddenly Jiyong turned facing Taeyang and held out his pinky finger "promise me you'll stay by my side forever, that we'll always be friends... that we'll debut together whether it be a duet or a group" Taeyang nodded eagerly and joined his pinky finger with Jiyongs and the tips of their thumbs met "of course Ji, forever"

The door of the apartment rattled then opened, Seunghyun walked into the room smirking at the two friends cuddling on the couch "yah!! Better not be stealing my boyfriend Taeyang I know hes irresistable" Taeyang scoffed and pulled Jiyong tighter into his arms. "Maybe I will steal him, I got him first" he stuck out his tounge causing Jiyong to giggle shoving his face into Taeyangs chest.

*a week later*

Jiyong patted down his suit pants staring at himself in the mirror. He didnt have a shirt on. He studied his figure smiling when he relised that his bones were less visible and his ugly scars and bruises were fading. He had some colour in his skin and he no longer reminded himself of a zombie.

Warmth filled his heart. He was nervous as hell for today but he was getting better. He felt happy and he knew those around him loved him after two years he felt safe and happy and loved.

He pulled on his shirt tucking it in. He looked over to his plain black blouser and grimaced so boring... he smirked when he remembered that he was actually in his own apartment for once and walked out of his room down the hallway to his closet room. He opened the door getting excited seeing his colourful, weird, filled room. He walked over to his coat hanger and shifted through them all.

He pulled out a black one with a dragon embroided pattern on the back and studs lining the colar and the arms and pockets. "Thats more like it" he pulled it on then chose some simple studded shoes to complete it. Its been a while since he felt so much excitement from dressing up, hes always loved the process and the showcasing. His fashionista urges were coming back to him.

He walked out into the loungeroom where the rest of Bigbang sat nervously. "Woah!!! Hyung you look so good!!" Seungri jumped up and started fussing over Jiyongs outfit while Seunghyun looked him up and down from the other side of the room smirking in agreeance. 

They all piled into the two cars waiting for them outside. As the car drove Jiyongs hands nervously played with eachother. "Itll finally be over" Seunghyuns deep voice muttered as he rested his head on Jiyongs shoulder. Jiyong nodded placing his hand on Seunghyuns thigh and playing with his pant material.

Cameras were shoved into his face as they walked into the building. Jiyong smiled at the screams of support echoed around the courtyard from his fans. He read signs wishing him good health and success and telling him to be strong. He breathed and stared at the door he was ready he pushed his way in and smiled half heartidly at the judges who nodded.

His chest tightened at the sound of chains. Policemen entered the room. With him. He was in handcuffs. A manic grin painted on his face. Jiyong looked away when he made eye contact with the monster. Only his presence was enough to send Jiyongs body into panic mode he couldnt do this. His heart tried to dig its way out of Jiyongs chest. Tears got caught in his eyelashes.

Seunghyun and Taeyang both squirmed closer to Jiyong squishing him between their protective bodies. He let out the breath his was holding and focused his mind on the warmth radiating of the two.

"We shall start now" 

An hour passed. Jiyongs lawyer was obliterating managers.

Half an hour passed. Jiyong cried throughout his confession.

Half an hour passed. Managers phsychotic facade never faded throughout his own defence.

Finally the sound of the hammer hitting wood echoed throughout the courtroom.  "45 years for manslaughter and an extra 20 for child abuse.. Mr Kim will spend a sentence of 65 years in jail with a $6000 fine"

Jiyong stood outside in a private courtyard where the press nor fans could access him. He breathed in the fresh air. Finally. It was finally over. Manager was going to be in jail for the rest of his life. A pair of arms wrapped around his waste. Another came in from the side and then Seungri and Daesung flung themselves in from nowhere and soon they all stood in a comforting group hug. Jiyong smiled. Seunghyun shoved his face into Jiyongs back. Taeyang laughed happily. Daesung and Seungri burst into tears. 

They heard a awkward cough behind them and broke up the hug facing the source of the noise. "Doctor?" Jiyong tilted his head a d walked up to the now crying man hugging him. "Thankyou.. thankyou for finally putting that monster where he deserves to be.. my Ayla, she can finally rest in peace knowing that he has paid for his crimes" Jiyong nodded "thankyou for everything aswell doctor, for being so strong and respecting and healing me I cant ever repay you". The doctor bowed low "you already have more than you know thankyou"

Jiyong watched the man leave and smiled. At least he knows that the cause of his daughters death was finally dealt with accordingly, he and his wife could finally focus on getting better.

Jiyong could finally focus on getting better. He looked back at his group staring at him silently. All of them smiled and so did Jiyong. Not a reassuring fake smile, but an actual smile, one so real and so beautiful that everyone felt all worries, all pain and all thoughts leave them as they watched the beautful smile decorate Jiyongs face.

"Shall we celebrate?" 


	18. Music

Jiyong stretched as he sat up in bed ignoring the warm pain that spread out from his cut all over his belly. He looked over to the sleeping man next to him and smiled. He lay back down facing Seunghyun and reached out his hand stroking the mans sharp cheeks.

Jiyong watched him sleep peacefully with a small smile etched on his face. He leaned over and softly kissed Seunghyuns forehead. He pulled back his lips lingering just above Seunghyuns skin. He exhaled "someday we might have the strength to confess to the public" he smiled and pulled himself out of bed and wondered down his own hall to the kitchen switching on the kettle.

He stirred his coffee thinking hard about everything that happened, everything seemed so normal now its as if nothing ever happened. There was no stress, no abuse, no pain, no loneliness and to be honest it felt weird.

He took a sip of the bitter coffee and leaned on the table stidying the wood grains. He sighed life was kinda... well boring now that nothing was happening. When he wasnt with his band members his emotions went blank and boredom chewed at his brain.

His eyes followed the length of the table to the end where a pile of paper sat teasing him. Jiyong set down his now empty cup and walked over picking up the first sheet from the pile. It was all the lyrics he wrote while in the hospital and when he was managers pet. A smile pulled at the corner of his lips and a deep sound came up from behind his closed mouth. Jiyong started humming trying to figure out in his head a new, origional tune.

His heart started beating faster and excitement filled his body. He felt young again. He felt like his dream and ambitions were finally returning. He slamed down the sheet of paper and ran to the bedroom halting when he saw Seunghyun was still asleep. He smiled and ran his fingers through the beautiful mans hair, Jiyong knew he wpuld freak out if he wasnt there when Seunghyun woke up so he opted to write a sticky note and stuck it to Seunghyuns forehead before giggling and running out of the room collecting the papers and rushing out of the apartment to his car.

Once he entered the building a feeling of nostalgia and fear filled him but he shook it away and walked to his studio. His hand halted on the door handle and his breaths quickened. The fear he had for so long was trapped in that room. The majority of his suffering origionated in that room and oh god Jiyong was terrified.

His head hung but his hand pushed open the door and a cold breeze hit Jiyong who breathed in and out steadily to regain his composure and he entered looking around. He saw all the details others would miss. Such as the darker stained corner where Jiyong lost the majority of his blood. The dents in the table and walls where Jiyong had collided into it. Holes sturdy enough to hold chains to tie Jiyong down.

He closed his eyes and tightened his fists he wasnt going to have a panic attack not anymore. He promised himself and Seunghyun that he would be happy. His feet automatically moved knowing the studio of by heart and when he opened his eyes he stood infront of the studio desk.

He placed the pile of papers down picking up rhe piece of paper he had left here the day Seunghyun found him. He read it and tears came to his eyes. He felt like a whole different person, the person who wrote this was in immense pain, felt like noone loved him, felt worthless, felt like everything was his fault that he deserved the cruel punishment and pain he dealt with every day. This person was depressed.

Jiyongs hand tightened and a tear fell down his face. The pain was coming back to him. Yet he felt proud of himself for allowing others to help him.

He looked around the room again. He couldnt work here it held too much pain, too many lies. He gatherd up the papers and ran out of the room not watching where he was going and ran right into YG dropping all of his papers. "OMO hyung!!! Im so sorry, i didnt mean too... it wont happen again... mianhae.. mianhae!!" 

Jiyong fell to his knees bowing then proceeded to pick up all the papers. YG chuckled and knelt down started to help Jiyong collect his work. "No need to apologise I dont mind" Jiyong looked up through his bangs shocked. "But it was awfully rude of me... i should have watched where i wa..." Jiyong was cut of as a pair of arms surrounded him and pulled him into a hug. Jiyongs eyes widened before closing and enjoying the warmth.

"Jiyong-ah, we're family remember, I dont mind and I like you too much to be bothered by such things... im glad you are feeling better and im so sorry you had to go through that... I see you as my own son and I care about you.. so in truth im exstatic that you seem to be feeling better and from what I gather are starting to produce again... just promise me you wont overdo it again" Jiyongs eyes filled with tears and his arms shot out tightly hugging YGs waist.

"Kamshamida!! Hyung... i promise, I wont let you down!!" Jiyong pulled away and picked up the pile again and ran down the corrider to the other, larger studio. YG leaned against the wall and smiled watching the excited boy run away "just like when you first debuted" he chuckled and continudd to walk down the hallway humming satisfied. He was proud of ths boy for pulling through such hell.

Jiyong laughed happily as he barged through the doors and entered the large studio "this is more like it" he started to lay out the pages carefully on the table. The tune he made up this morning came back to his head and he started humming.

 

Seunghyun woke up and his arm immediately shot out to the side. However, except for landing on Jiyongs firm chest it met cold sheets. Seunghyun frowned and sat up flinching slightly when he felt something on his forehead. He swatted it thinking it was a fly and instead a sticky note fluttered down to the floor.

Seunghyun tilted his head and leant down picking it up. Looking at the writing he instantly recognised it as Jiyongs 'Morning sleepy head!!!, iv gone to the studio dont worry about me!! Ill be back soon I love you!! <3" Seunghyun smiled and shook his head "pabo" he mummbled and pulled himself out of the warm sheets.

Seunghyun pulled out his phone while he drank the coffee and decided to text Jiyong to see how he was doing.

'Yah!! How are you? I woke up to a unpleasantly cold bed *pouts*'

'Ahh... sorry hyung I had inspiration I needed to get to the studio, im actually feeling really good today!!'

'Thats good you pabo, did you take your medication?'

'YAH!! stupid bingu im not a pabo!!... no.. i forgot.. whoops'

'*pouts*... im supposed to be responsible for you taking the medication and how can I do that if you dont take them yourself!!'

'Keke, sorry hyung... bring them to the studio'

'Neh, I love you'

'I LOVE YOU TOO!!!'

Seunghyun smiled and turned of his phone. He jumped a bit when the doorbell rang walking over sleepily to answer it. He smiled when he saw the wide grins of Seungri and Daesung who barged their way in. "Wheres our beautiful leader!!!" Daesung yelled into the room.

"Hes not here... hes at the studio today." Seungri looked shocked "should he really be there?" Seunghyun shook his head "i dont know... but we have to respect his decisions he needs to know that we trust him". Daesung nodded and sat down on the chair picking up Seunghyuns coffee and taking a sip instantly pulling a sour face. "Aigoooo~~ how do you drink it so strong" Seunghyun laughed and stole the cup back and took a large sip "my question is how do you drink it so weak"

Seunghyun let out another yawn and his face fell back to its true form. Simply tired. Seungri tilted his head "hyung... when was the last time you had a full nights sleep?" Seunghyun looked startled before looking down ashamed. "I cant remember... Jiyong is more important than me right now... i think before he first started pushing me away...". Daesubgs face fell "hyung, that was over a month and a half ago...." Seungri stood up and grabbed Seunghyuns hand pulling him back to Jiyongs room.

He puched Seunghyun onto the bed and covered him in blankets. "You hyung are staying in bed all day, you are sleeping and regaining all that strength" Seunghyun sat up grunting annoyed when Seungri pushed him back down "but Jiyong". "No... no Jiyong today, its about you and you only sleep hyung please... you cant take care of Jiyong if you yourself are worn out". Seunghyun nodded "you need to take him his medicine"

Daesung nodded and left the room to collect the tub from the bathroom. By the time he returned Seunghyun was fast asleep. Seungri smirked and looped his arm arpund Daesungs shoulder "i say mission complete, Jiyong is out of the house, Seunghyun is finally caring about himself and Taeyang finally went to spend the day with his love life after forever". Daesung smirked and grabbed Seungris head tilting it towards him and kissing Seungri. "See U told you everything woukd get better"

About 40 minutes later the two reached the studio opening it confused to find the small space empty. They looked at eachother in confusion "maybe hes finally using the big one?" Seungri shrugged and they walked hand in hand down the hallway. They smiled as the reachdd the studio and leant against the doorframe watching Jiyong hum as he ran from one side of the room to the other sorting out sheets of paper and writing down chords or extra lyrics.

This was the hyung they knew rhe one who got overwhelmingly excited when he had inspiration for a song. Seungri coughed and Jiyong jumped before spinning around and staring at the two "YAH!! you scared the hell out of me!!"

Daesung held up the bottle of pills and Jiyong grimaced "damned things... thankyou for bringing them!!!" Jiyong pranced over to them and hugged them both "youre in a good mood today hyung" Seungri giggled and Jiyong nodded "i feel overwhelmingly happy today". Daesung wondered into the room scanning over the lyrics.

Jiyongs eyes widened "theyre... theyre not completed yet.." Daesung froze "hyung... theyre amazing... so, well so soulful and deep... depressing but its captivating the amount of emotion youve captured" Jiyongs eyes sparkled with happiness "you really think so?". Seungri put down the paper he was reading "I think its rhe perfect way to conclude this whole ordeal... to release a song of the pain... the hardships and of recovery.. you can tell the fams the truth through the music video and the lyrics" 

Jiyongs eyes widened "youre right... I.. I might need your help, this wasnt only my experience" for no reason his eyes filled with tears. His emotions were everywhere but music and his non-blood family meant everything to him. He relised then that he coukd be happy there was a way to forget his past. He siddenly jumped up and ran to the table startling Seungri and Daesung. He pulled the pencil out from behind his ear and scrabbled another line of lyrics.

'Pledge your life to others, use their happiness to break down the negative masks. Then you can truly put a blanket over your past'

He smiled and ran to the computer replaying the under beats that he had already produced this morning and started adding more instruments and sounds. They spent the afternoon writing and composing. Jiyong was over joyed that he had Daesung and Seungri to help him and praise him. He loved producing music but it always felt more special when he did it with others.

Jiyong leaned back in his chair and stretched. He looked over to the corner of the room and saw Seungri curled in Daesungs arms and both of them asleep. Jiyong held in his fanboying at the cuteness of the two and walked over covering them both in a warm blanket. A hand shot out and grabbed Jiyongs wrist startling him slightly. Seungris eyes looked into his and a warm smile spreaded over his face "Join us hyung" Jiyong hesitated but was pulled into the center of the couple anyway.

Daesung instantly warpped his arm and legs around Jiyong and Seungri and Seungri wrapped his arms around Jiyong. He smiled as the soft snores of his two younger members filled the room. He remembered his thought the last time he hung out with just the two of them and smiled. Yep they definately had a talent for making him feel loved and included even when he gets between the two lovebirds. Even literally like right now.

He smiled. No pain. It was like he was never hurt in the first place. All he felt was warmth and love.


	19. Chapter 19

Seunghyun smiled as he walked into Jiyongs room, where he saw his lover disapear a few hours ago.

He leant against the door and ogled the naked back that faced him. Jiyong oblivious to his watcher continued to try and decide which of the four shirts he had layed out across the bed to wear.

In thought he spun around to pick up his pants which were on the ground behind him and he gasped in surprise apon seeing Seunghyun. His eyes widened in fear and his whole body shot backward pulling the beds blanket of to cover himself.

All the shirts fell forgotten to the floor. "Seung..seunghyun... you..ahh... pabo you should knock!!" Seunghyun tilted his head "its not like Iv never seen all this before" his eyes shifting down to Jiyongs toes then back up to his eyes.

"Its not the same... my skin is no longer pure... no longer beautiful... I need to cover it up" Jiyong whimpered and hugged the blanket tighter around his still slightly too skinny frame.

Seunghyun shook his head and slowly walked to Jiyong "I thought we agreed that you would stop lying to me?" Jiyong shook his head and whispered "im not". He hung his head and despite his fear let Seunghyun come close to him.

"But baby you are" Seunghyun placed his hand on Jiyongs shoulder looping his fingers under the hem of the blanket and tugged it softly. He frowned when Jiyong held it tighter.

Seunghyuns other hand went to Jiyongs cheek and stroked it. He leaned in and kissed Jiyong softly. The kiss lasted till both were put of breath and Jiyongs hands had loosened their hold. Seunghyun took advantage of the moment and tugged the blanket letting it fall to the ground leaving Jiyong in only his boxers.

Seunghyun stroked Jiyongs arm leaving a path of goosebumps in its wake. "Baby you're so beautiful battle scars and all"

He knelt down in front of Jiyong. His head was in front of Jiyongs belly. He leaned forewards and pressed a kiss to the large scar from the knife. He kissed all over Jiyongs belly and all the way up to his chest standing again.

Jiyongs face was red and his eyes were slightly closed. "Seunghyun I..."  Seunghyun shushed him and pushed him back onto the bed. His hand stroked the outside of Jiyongs thigh and he smiled when those perfect legs spread slightly.

His loving smile turned into a frown when he saw the inside of Jiyongs thighs. "Jiyong..." Jiyongs head turned away "I know.. its just... sometimes the memories are too much". Seunghyuns fingers carefully traced the fresh red cuts that lined Jiyongs inner thighs he leaned down and placed a kiss against each.

"This is what im for Jiyong... I told you to tell me everything.. heck even hurt me if you need to... just dont hurt yourself anymore you deserve to be free of all demons". Jiyong nodded and sat up wrapping his arms around Seunghyuns neck. He sobbed "I know.. its just so hard sometimes"

Seunghyun picked up Jiyong and carried him to the bathroom. He sat Jiyong on the bench and grabbed the first aid kit disinfecting the cuts and wrapping a fresh gauze around them. Even though they long finished bleeding and were healing seemingly fine Seunghyun wasnt taking any risks. Jiyong tried hard to ignore the tears that Seunghyun was so obviously trying to keep in.

He placed his hands on either side of Jiyong on the table and stared at him. "I love you so much" and kissed him before he could reply. Jiyongs hands tangled in Seunghyuns hair and his legs wrapped around the taller mans waist. Their mouths moved in unison and Seunghyun pulled away for a second to smile then leaned back in.

After their makeout session and Seunghyun had checked over Jiyongs body for any other worrying injuries and applying cream where needed, Seunghyun picked Jiyong up again and carried Jiyong to his room setting him down and turning to leave. "Oh yeh, I like the grey and blue shirt the best" he yelled before walking out.

Jiyong smiled fondly and picked up the shirt pulling it on. He looked down to his thighs and frowned at the gauze wrapped around them. He can't imagine how much he hurt Seunghyun by cutting again. 

It was only the second time he had done it to such a bad extent. In the quiet of the night when Seunghyun was fast asleep he had a relapse. One that tore apart his insides. He didnt have the heart to wake up his sleeping lover. To worry him when he thought everything was perfect. Jiyong wasnt dumb he knew how much the other was sacrificing to look after him.

He ended up on the shower floor blood on his hand and his thigh. He cleaned the cuts with water then tied a bandage around it until it stopped bleeding and the next day he took it off and threw it in the dumpsters.

He pressed his thumb against the gaze sighing happily at the pain. It was relaxing. His thoughts cleared and he pulled on his pants. He promised himself that for Seunghyun he would stop cutting. He still wanted to feel pain to clear his mind.. but there was other ways.

He walked out to the kitchen "Seunghyun??" He heard a grunt from the couch and walked over leaning over the back and resting his head on Seunghyuns shoulder "do we have any lacky bands?"

Seunghyun nodded "in the draw of the work table" Jiyong kissed Seunghyun on the forehead and went off to rummage through the door.

Once he found the lacky band he went back and sat next to Seunghyun. "Why do you need a lacky band?" Jiyong smiled slightly sadly and pulled it onto his wrist. "Hyung.. I want to stop cutting for you... but it's hard to deal with my emotional pain without physical pain... this way I can get that pain in a less extreme and harming way"

He pulled the lacky band up as far as it would go and let it come snapping down onto the soft part of his wrist. Seunghyun visibly winced and a tear pricked the corner of his eye. "I... I understand and I agree that this is a coping mechanism... but promise me three things"

Jiyong nodded and snuggled against Seunghyuns side inhaling that musky scent he loved. "One: that you won't go overboard and permantly scar thise pretty wrists of yours.. two: that you will stop when the emotional pain is dealable and three: that you will come to me before resorting to that... but dont do it around me I cant handle watching you hurt yourself..."

"I promise" Jiyong mumbled into his neck and Seunghuun pulled him closer. "Im so proud of you my strong baby" Jiyong shot ip and punched Seunghyun. "YAH ENOUGH WITH THE SEUNGRI REFERENCE!!!" Seunghyun burst out laughing and grabbed Jiuong waist twisting them both so they ended up laying on eachother on the coach.

They spent the next few hours in eachothers arms and kissing eachother and praising eachothers very existence.

Their time was interupted by knocking on the door. Before either got up the door burst open and an excited panda charged at the couple on the coach. "STACKS ON JIYONG!!!" He yelled getting ready to jump ontop of Seunghuyn but was stopped by a pair of hands on his waist.

"And you think that's a good idea because?" Taeyang pulled Seungri back and Jiyong sent him a thankful look. He may be healing but he's still too weak to take any major weight or pain. Taeyang smirked and pushed Seungri to the ground and layed ontop of him.

"I think stacks on Seungri is a much better idea!!" Daesjng giggled loudly and not so carefully jumped and landed on both of them making them both groan in pain. Seunghyun casually strolled over and sat on all of them while Jiyong was laugh crying on the coach.

Seungri and Taeyang rubbed their backs in pain but seeing Jiyong laugh so hard was worthit.

Seunghyun pulled Jiyong close to him once he sat on the coach again and sighed happily. "You know what it feels like we're going back to our old trouble free selves" Seunghyun looked down at Jiyong and smiled kissing his forehezd ignoring the joking ewww from Daesung and Seungri.

"Guys.. im so sorry to have put you all through so much.. I constantly think that if I wasnt around things would have been easier for everyone" Jiyong quickly shushed everyone whos mouths opened to protest. "But!!" He smiled "im so thankful for you all for helping me so much looking after me, sacrificing things for me... and making me feel important, I dont feel like a burden and I know you guys truly love me and im so thankful" everyonss eyes filled with tears and Jiyong looked to the ground smiling.

"If theres one thing iv learnt from all of this is that we are truly brothers and there's nothing that can bring us down. Here's to our strength, our survival, our love, our comeback... here's to us, forever by eachothers side and forever kings" he raised the glass of alcohol which Taeyang had poured everyone. Everyone raised their classes and yelled "forever!!" At the same time.

~

Soon Jiyong released the song they all worked so hard on. It contained parts written by everyone and was by far the most emotional song they had created yet. However, it was met with great support and achieved countless all kills and new awards came in to add to their collection.

Jiyong smiled. It felt like closure. Finally. 

They soon released the album and the songs ranged from sad and soulful to true bigbang colour songs with heavy party beats. And once again they slayed the charts.

It wasnt soon after that Jiyong finally threw out the lacky band and let Seunghyun treat the red mark circling around his wrist. His whole heart warmed from the proud smile Seunghyun gave him everytime he saw him.

Every now and again he thought of visiting manager in jail.. asking him for reasons why he was put through so much suffering. But he soon relised that he rather think that there was no reason. That manager was truly just a psychopath.

It would hurt too much to see his face. What if his reasoning made Jiyong, a incredibly soft hearted man, pity him. Forgive him. Jiyong couldnt handle that.

It was best if he forgot. Lived his life. Seunghyun would be gone soon and he though maybe it was best if he went with him. Enlisted early. Even though it was probably a little late since he missed the entrance exams. He would wait though he loved him and distance would do nothing to dull their affection.

He had Seungri and Daesung and Taeyang anyway. His beloved brothers. They did so much for him and he loved them so much it hurt. 

He also had his fans. Who now knew everything. The whole story. He told them via. A youtube message and the response was a lot better than Jiyong hoped for. Could wish for. His fans were still there they still loved him, they praised him for being so strong. Taeyang was right they were at the point that no matter what they did they would still have loyal fans.

He decided not to tell the fans of his and Seunghyuns relationship until they found out themselves. And judging by their actions in the public, wont be that long away. And when the time comes he wouldn't deny a thing and embrace it. Maybe they could even go to America for a bit and get married and come back an official couple.

Jiyong sighed as he lay down in bed snuggling against Seughyuns warm body. He was so satisfied. His suffering like a bad nightmare. It would probably haunt him for years, but he will learn to live with it and he will love life and be satisfied. He will be loved and by and will live the man next to him for the rest of his life.

At this moment he couldnt be happier. He had family, his brothers, the love of his life, a loyal fanbase and living his dream once again. Music no longer scared him. It was his therapy. His getaway.

It was time he moved on.

It was time he truly lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I think this is the end my lovelies.
> 
> Thankyou so much for reading and commenting I appreciate it so much.
> 
> This fanfic has let me overcome some of the things still haunting me from the past and im so greatful for that. I didnt actually expect this to help me but it did. 
> 
> (I hope my decision to share this fic on this site as well has allowed more people to read it and enjoy it <3)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello it's Min-yah, you may know me from asian fanfics and if you do and know this story don't worry it's the actual author reposting it on this site, it's not plagiarised :)


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